Try-State Area

Service Hour

Emily looked at the clock on the wall again

Only 4:30...

She moistened the final envelope in the stack, pressed the seal closed and sighed.

"Is there a problem Emily?" Sr. Bernadette questioned.

"No sister," she responded automatically and rose to take the pile to the postage machine.

"Now dear, I know you aren't being truthful. You've been uncharacteristically quiet today and done nothing but stare at the clock all afternoon," the nun countered.

The envelopes fed noisily through the machine as each one was tattooed with its mark.  They looked identical to one another except for the addressee. Emily fell into a trance watching them spill rhythmically into the waiting mail bin.

"Were your parents proud when you became a nun?" she asked the intimate query before she realized it.

The elderly nun looked surprised by this topic and answered with a question of her own. "Are you thinking of taking your vows one day?"

Emily shook her head regretfully and apologized, "No sister. I didn't mean to pry. I'm sorry."

Sr. Bernadette chuckled and lifted her glasses from her nose and let them dangle on their crystal chain as she sat back in her chair. "I was teasing you Emily. It's quite alright that you asked me," she reassured.

"Well, my parents were very religious and couldn't have children of their own. They were much older when they adopted me from a young townswoman who scandalously had me out of wedlock. So yes, they were very proud when I took my vows. I suppose they felt that it was a fitting way to thank God for bringing us together," she recounted.

Emily picked up a stack of papers to file and asked, "Is that why you did it?"

The nun raised the volume slightly on the radio while Nat King Cole pleaded that they "Smile" in his buttery baritone.

"Not exactly... I had no siblings and I knew my parents wouldn't be around forever. We only had distant relatives and the sisterhood gave me a family. It made me feel less alone in the world to have God and the convent," she explained.

Emily had one more question. "Did you know you always wanted to be a nun?"

The nun put her glasses back on her face and fiddled with the crucifix around her neck. "Of course not, I wanted to be a ballerina when I was five," she joked.

Then she divulged more seriously, "When I did decide, I knew it was the right choice because I felt an immense sense of peace."

I definitely do not feel at peace... In fact right now I feel heartbreakingly sad all of a sudden... Maybe it's from the song we are listening to, or Sr. Bernadette's story, or the fact that Jenny seems to still be avoiding me... Or maybe it was my abysmal grade on the chemistry quiz from last week... I should be happy that Mom didn't punish me this morning, but this feeling of anxiety deep in my stomach... I just can't get rid of it...

"Why don't you call it quits for today Emily? It's nearly five o'clock anyway. You can finish that up next Wednesday," Sr. Bernadette proposed.

Emily smiled and consented weakly, "Okay. Thank you, Sister."