Try-State Area

Bedtime

Emily walked into the house and wished her father and stepmother a good night before she went to get ready for bed. Her stomach felt like she had taken a shot of liquor whenever she thought of being on the riverbank with Evan and of their plan for him to come through her window at eleven o'clock.

Open the window, play some music, pack for the morning... And calm yourself down...

So that's what she did. Soon Lennon & Maisy's cover of "That's What's Up" came on, and Emily sang along in a high falsetto. Toward the end of the song though, she couldn't resist belting out the final phrases. She clapped and stomped in time.

Successfully distracted by packing to music, she jumped and yelped when Evan touched her elbow. "You scared me half to death!"

"Anyone ever tell you that you have a pretty voice?" Evan grinned.

Emily's ears turned cherry red again. "Not solo material, just chorus worthy. But I love music, so I sing along."

He pulled her into his arms. "Personally, I prefer duets. Waiting to come back to you was the longest hour and a half of my life."

"Then what are you going to do when I leave tomorrow?" she asked.

"I'm going to text and call you every day until you come back to me."

She smiled at his pajama pants and white undershirt, stroking the buttery soft cotton on his hard chest. "I see that you've made yourself comfortable."

"Well I had to convince my parents that I was getting ready for bed too."

"So let's not make a liar of you and get to bed then," she said as she shut off the lamp.

Emily climbed into bed and breathed in Evan as he climbed in after her.

He smells fresh... Like soap and shaving cream...

Once they were side-by-side facing each other on her twin bed, it took a few minutes for her eyes to adjust to the dark.

I can practically feel the moonlight roam over the peaks of my features... It's cold...

Goosebumps followed the path of white light along her flesh. She watched as it trailed from the arc of her bare legs, to the underwear clinging against her hip, then dipped to her tank top bunched in the curve of her waist, and along the swell of her breast where her shirt pulled taut, rising up to her bare shoulder. She was sure it was on her face too.

He can see me...

It was harder for her to distinguish Evan's features, because with his back to the window, his wide shoulders blocked the light from his countenance.

I can see little more than his smile through the shadows...But I can feel him... Even without touching him... He fills my bed and my head with his warm and solid presence...

The bedroom wall was behind her, her back literally to the wall. But what made her pulse quicken more was the human wall in front of her.

Is this feeling... Is it safe... Or claustrophobic?

While her eyes acclimated as much as they could in the dark room, it was taking Emily longer to sort through these tenebrous feelings. She let out a shaky sigh and scooted a bit further away from Evan as she tried to discern how to proceed.

Evan must have sensed her hesitancy because he said, "The point of me coming back here was so that we'd be more relaxed. But you don't seem more at ease."

He began to roll away from her, as if to get off the bed. "I have no problem leaving if you want me to."

But Emily groped out for him in the murk, grabbing his shirt. "No! Please don't go!"

The idea of Evan leaving right now actually feels like a pain in my stomach... It's annoying because I'm not used to feeling like I really need anyone... But this feels like a need... It's like a hunger pain...

"I'm... I'm afraid," she blurted.

Evan sat back down and took Emily's hand in his. "We don't have to do anything tonight if you don't want to."

She moved closer to him again.

The physical stuff is easy... Kissing him is divine and touching him is exhilarating... I can do those things thoughtlessly... But Evan wants more than that... He wants promises... He wants to be my boyfriend.... And I'm not sure if I can do that... I don't know if I know how to be a girlfriend... I don't know how to tell if I am falling in love with him... It's not something I can research in a book and it isn't like a math problem with a definite correct answer...

"Will you still stay though? I mean... if we don't do anything," she asked.

"Of course." He laid back down and pulled her into his arms. Then he rolled onto his back, settling her head onto his shoulder and his palm on her bottom.

"Is this okay?" he asked.

"That's perfect," Emily sighed as she placed her hand on his chest. "Thank you," she added.

"Don't thank me Emily. I'm in your bed with my arms around you. Thanking me seems pretty redundant." He gently stroked her arm with his free hand.

Emily leaned up and pecked him on his cheek. "Good night Evan."

He kissed her on her forehead. "Good night Emily."