When I Was His

77

Seeing gramps was more emotional than I had expected, he cried when he saw us. The whole family was a blubbering mess, he made a huge deal of all his kids and grandkids. His walls were covered with our photos, sitting on the floor of his small house felt so right. I felt like I was in my own home, the way he spoke about the family made it clear that he was happy to see us. He had declared that we had to go to his favourite restaurant for dinner. He said he had to celebrate the fact that he was surrounded by family.

Gramps favourite restaurant turned out to be a bar, my dad wasn't surprised. The bar is large but quiet, luckily it allows children and serves food.

June turns up her nose at the wine menu, and its me who's considered a snob. Things are still a little awkward between her and Hillary but there at least being civil, I think we're all happy that Sean wasn't able to come due to work commitments.

"so Rosie are you dating" gramps asks as we finish ordering our food. I'm surprised he doesn't know about me and ark I know he's not the type to read tabloids but I had thought that my dad may have told him on their weekly call.

"no gramps not at the moment"

Dianna laughs "gramps you don't even want to know "

"can we not, I'm sick of hearing about roses famous ex. Its really not that interesting" June complains.

"who are you kidding, it really is interesting. Rose has been all over the Internet and in magazines" Hillary snaps.

"my little Rosie is dating someone famous, well Barry you never mentioned it" my gramps gives me a huge smile and I sink in my seat. I don't want him to know about ark and our less than perfect relationship. I know he will be disappointed in me for dating a bay boy, especially one who has issues with drugs.

"we aren't together anymore gramps"

"will I have heard of him, what does he do"

"coke"

"June that's enough " my mom snaps angrily.

"I hope you mean the soda"

I look down at the table, I can't look at my gramps. I know he will be mad and I can't face it.

"in his defence he has checked himself into rehab, he's a nice guy" dianne interjects.

"that's right, we all really like him. He was always kind to us all, he's facing his demons " my mom replies as she squeezes my hand.

"and what do you think of him Barry"

I look up at my dad and pray that he doesn't think bad of ark, I know we're not together but part of me hopes that will change.

"honestly dad I like him, he's good to Rosie. Hes a millionaire musician but hes down to earth, he came in my house and introduced himself to us. Yeah he's got an addiction but he's getting help, you have to respect him for that"

My dad's usually so quiet so the fact that he's speaking of ark so favourably makes me happy. I finally look up at my gramps who is sat quietly looking at me.

"you love him"

I have never admitted this out loud, but I find myself nodding.

"then you have my blessing, people can change. Your aunt Jill is proof of that"

"dad don't start, Jill wasn't that bad"

"what did aunt Jill do" june asks, she loves gossip especially about people who she doesn't like.

"have you ever noticed that Jills son doesn't really look like his dad " gramps says.

"yes your aunt Jill was very popular when she was younger, she did manage to worm the possible dad down to 7 men"

"7"june says spitting her wine out across the table.

We all laugh as my gramps continues to tell us about Jill's indiscretion's. When he starts telling us about my dad's childhood my dad quickly jumps up and declares that we need a family photo.

I'll have to question my grandpa's later, there's obviously something in my dad's past that my dad doesn't want us to know. I hope it's something really embarrassing that I can tease my dad about later

We all gather around my gramps and I hand my cell to a waiter and ask him to snap a few photos. We all smile, as the man clicks away. When i get my cell back I look at the photo and i feel a lump in my throat, my gramps looks so proud and happy.

"now this needs printing" I announce with a smile.

"oh my god" Hillary exclaims loudly as our food  is placed before us.

"what's up, doesn't it look good" Mary asks.

"no it looks fine, I'm just surprised. Look at roses plate"

The whole table turns and watches as I lift a fry into my mouth.

"your eating carbs" dianne says in shock.

" I have eaten fries before"

"I haven't seen you eat any form of fat since you were 15 especially anything fried. Dianne you were right she has changed" Hillary says with a smile.

"changed how"

"your more relaxed now, more family orientated. Its been nice to have you back"

"Hillary I never went anywhere I just worked a lot"

"no she's right you became a different person, you were not my little sister anymore. You were like a stranger. I finally have my baby sister back" Mary says as she smiles brightly at me.

"I'm sorry I was so preoccupied with money that you felt you lost me
I never stopped loving you all."