When I Was His

3

I'm so angry I can barely breath, I don't want to cry but I can't hold back the tears. I can tell the cab driver is uncomfortable but I just can't help it. I've known Lara most of my life and the fact that she was capable of this is so hard to accept. I feel betrayed the only upside to the situation is that I found out who she was now and not years down the line.

I silently pay my cab fair and step out on to the street, the cab flies down the road and I can't say I blame him. I'm a blubbering mess. I wonder if I will be able to get to my bedroom without being seen by my family. I really don't want to have to answer any questions and i certainly don't want them to see my puffy eyes. I can hear my dad in the kitchen as I walk through the house I tiptoe up the stairs careful not to step on any of the creaky steps.

I quietly close my door and rest against it, I slowly fall to the floor and rest my head in my hands. How could I have been so stupid, I should have known that their was no such thing as free money. Now it all makes so much sense, I now know why Lara was so adamant that I had to go on the website.

I check my cell and see that i have missed called and messages from my ex beat friend, I delete the messages without reading them. I see a message from my boss asking if I can pick up the dinner shift, I quickly reply saying I can. I think working will be a good distraction plus it's money that I can't turn down. I just need to find the right balance between work and play.

I drag myself up and almost jump when I catch my reflection on the mirror. My face is red, my eyes are puffy and my make up is a hot mess. My make up is soo far beyond repairable, I have no choice but to quickly clean my face and start again. I have I wish I could erase the day as easily as that.

I change into my work uniform which consists of a black dress and heels. I'm just about to head out when I realise that I'm still on that ridiculous website. It takes a few minutes but I manage to cancel my remaining date and delete the account.

.............................................

"did I ever tell you how much I love you" my dad jokes as he takes the takeout box from me.

I had done a 8 hour shift at the restaurant and was able to bring home the renaming lasagne.

My mum shakes her head in disapproval as my day heavily coats his dinner with parmesan. "no wonder your getting fat"

My dad smiles and pats his protruding stomach, he knows my mom is just teasing. They have been married 40 years and they still love each other as much as they did when they got married.

"your dad said you had a date, how did it go" mom asks as she takes the stool beside me.

I shrug and hope that will put an end to the subject but I know my mom won't let it drop that easily.

"that good huh"

"it wasn't the best"

My parents exchange looks but my mom doesn't let up. "why what happened"

"he was a jerk, he wants a friend with benefits" it's only a half lie.

"what's a friend with benefits" my dad asks. I look over at mom who's smirking.

" Dianne and Kyle" mom says simply. Kyle and Dianne have been sleeping together on and off for years but have never dates. Their relationship annoys the hell out of my dad.

He rolls his eyes "so in short he just wanted to use you for sex"

I nod.

"I'm glad you have more sense than your sister, you deserve a guy who's going to treat you right" my dad tells me as he bats my mom's hand away from his food.

"who doesn't have sense"

We all turn to the door and she my sister Dianne leant against it with Kyle by her side.

"Kyle" my dad's eyes squint with anger as he speaks, he's made it clear how much he hates this guy.

"where do you think you two are going, you know you can't have boys stay over" mom states firmly.

Dianne huffs, I can tell her intention had been to sneak Kyle into her room. "we weren't going to my room, Kyle just came in for a night cap"

"I may not have been on a date in 40 years but I do remember what having a night cap is code for. I think it's time you showed your friend out" Mom is clearly mad, my dad isn't one for confrontation so he just looks at his food and pretends that this awkward situation isn't happening.

Kyle leaves without a word leaving Dianne staring after him. "God you just love to embarrass me, I swear I'm looking for my own place first thing tomorrow"

Dianne stomps up the stairs, my dad jumps as she slams her door behind her.

My mom is so catty she just has to have the last word, she goes into the living room and calls up the stairs to my sister "love you too sweetie, let me know if you any need help. I hear they have some nice trailers for rent on Garret avenue "