When I Was His

6

At 3 am Dianne finally admits defeat and agrees to catch a cab home. After finding no decent parties we end up back in Elijah's bar, its the only place that serves me without question.

"BE QUIET, THE PARENTS ARE SLEEPING" Dianne shouts as we walk through the front door.

I don't think she realises that she's shouting, I place my fingers on my lips and try to shush her.

"what are you doing" I whisper.

Dianne kicks off her shoes at the bottom of the stair case. Two stairs up and she throws her jacket down, she continues to remove her clothing until she's stood at the top of the stairs wearing only a thong. After stumbling down the hallway she clumsily pushes open her door and falls over the threshold. I don't know why but I find it hysterical and start to laugh.

"look at the state of you two " mom says as she emerges from her room, she looks at me then down at dianne who's sprawled on the floor.

"dianne I thought you were meant to be looking after your you her sister, I can't belive you" mom gestures for me to help her lift dianne. I slip off my shoes and help put my sister in her bed, I pull the blanket up under her chin before I snap a photo of her sleeping with her mouth wide open.

"don't you have school tomorrow" mom chastises. I nod, I grab my shoes and stumble to my own room. I'm drunk but not that drunk that Im willing to throw my clothes on the floor. I carefully take off my dress and fold it up before placing it on my ottoman. I clumsily remove my make up and attempt to cover my face in my nightly mask. I can feel my eyes growing heavy...

........

"Rose, its 9 shouldn't you be in a lecture or something" my dad asks as he pokes his head in my room.

"shhh" I grumble, my head is pounding. I feel like I haven't slept. There's no way it can be 9, my alarm is set for 6.

I reach out for my cell and find it dead, I gingerly rise from my bed and head to my vanity table to read my small clock.

"fuck" I call. I hear my dad laugh as he closes my door. I'm taken aback by the sight of myself in my mirror. My hair sticks out in every direction it almost looks like the Cynthia doll from rugrats. My face is covered in white goop, I must have attempted to apply my night cream. I remember putting my sister in bed but everything afterwards is a blur.

I have an hour until my next class so taking into account the amount of time It takes me to get to campus I have only 30 minutes to get ready and leave. I have no time to shower and restyle my hair, I rush around and manage to tame my hair into a neat ponytail. I clean my face and add a little make up so I didnt look deathly pale. I step in a pair of skinny jeans and pull an old sweater over my head.  My feet are sore from the night before so much to my annoyance I can't wear heels, I slip on a pair of black uggs and grab my bag on the way out of the door.

Dianne is just leaving her room as I pass, she's wearing a pair of Disney pj's and her hair looks as bad as mine did. I give her a smile as I leave, she grunts in response. I guess her hangover is worse than than mine.

"do you need a ride" my mom asks already knowing the answer, she grabs her keys and hands me a portable coffee cup.

"your a life saver" I say as I happily Inhail the strong coffee.

Mom smiles kindly and shakes her head, she unlocks the car and tells me to get in. Usually she would give me a lecture about being drunk but she can't really do that after the state you were in.

"so you and dianne had a good night then"

"yeah it was good, I think we drank a little too much" I reach into my bag to get my phone then I remember that it's laying dead on my nightstand. I'm not sure how I will cope without my cell for a full day.

"could you put my cell on charge when you get home, its totally dead" I ask and my mum assures me that she will.

"thank you for last night, it was nice to spend a few hours with you"

I genuinely enjoyed it too, I hadn't realised how long it had been since we had last done it. Dianne made me aware that I don't spend enough time with my family. I don't recall the last time I saw my 3 sisters who dont live with us.

"I'm sorry"

My mom looks at me with confusion. "what for"

"Di said that I act like I'm better than you all, I don't mean to. I don't think I'm better than anyone"

"oh rose I don't think that at all, I don't understand your obsession with designer clothes but I don't judge you. I just wished you didn't push yourself so hard, you work and go to school full time. I'm worried that your doing too much and I don't think a fancy bag is worth it"

I'm not sure what to say, to me it is worth it.

"I just wish you would find some time for your family and friends. When your 40 you won't regret not buying the 200 dollar shoes but you will regret not living. What's the point in having nice things of you have no where to wear them"

"were here" mom says before I can think of a reply. Mom waves me off as I exit the car.

Out short car ride has got me questioning my whole outtake on life.