Saga of a New World - (Audiobook Available)

13. Everyone Needs Gas

The gas station is far away and after a few minutes, the fight feels like it was ages ago. The fear and excitement are gone and their absence leaves Astrid feeling both sad and tired. There is also an odd feeling of uneasiness that she can't explain. A feeling that something is wrong. She can't help but think about Noah's words, as an emptiness grows in her chest. 'Was what we did back there, how we went in, wrong? I murdered two people without so much as a thought. No. Not murdered. I killed two people. And maybe that one guy survived, so I only killed one person. A person who tried to bash my skull in with a lamp!' Her conscience collapses that reasoning in on itself. 'That man is dead. Without doctors and a hospital to treat it, any gunshot wound is probably fatal. And yes, that woman hit me on the head with a lamp, but was instantly shooting her the right reaction?'

Astrid feels dirty. Like a taint now clings to her hands. 'But then, what should we have done? Just let them get away? Or should we have walked up to the building, waiting to get shot?'

Her conscience doesn't give her an answer. The feeling of dirtiness only intensifies.

'I need someone to talk to. About something, anything else.'

Fynn is engrossed in a discussion about dogs with Noah, but the Sheriff is only busy moving her eyes over the trees. She gives Astrid a short glance as she hears Ranger catch up with Poldi.

Astrid isn't sure what she wants to talk about, so she just asks the first thing that comes to her mind: "So. What were you doing when the fog came?"

The Sheriff turns her head to look at her fellow elf, startled. "I was at home, watching television with my wife... That sounds a bit weird. So you don't get the wrong idea, I'll tell you. Before the fog, I was a man. Whatever transformed us apparently didn't check my gender."

"I already know. Sooo, how is this different?"

"You mean, how is being a woman different from being a man?"

Astrid nods.

"Well, being attracted to men is... different." The Sheriff chuckles. "To be honest though, being an elf is so different from being a human it's hard to tell how being a woman is different to being a man. Except for, you know, the obvious stuff. The only thing that's really annoying is wearing a bra. I mean, that is the only thing I really hate so far. And combing my hair. I always had a buzz cut before the fog and brushing this mane is something I do not look forward to."

Astrid laughs. "You know, you could just cut it."

"I could, but... I always thought short hair looked really ugly on women and... you know. Just because I used to be a man doesn't mean I want to look like one now."

Astrid raises her eyebrows and glances at the Sheriff. "You like being a woman more than being a man?"

The other elf frowns at her. "That's not what I said. Just because I used to be a man doesn't mean I don't want to look good as a woman now."

After a short moment of silence, the Sheriff asks, "Who were you before the fog?"

"I was a normal girl who had just finished school and still didn't know what she wanted to do with her life."

The other elf chuckles.

Astrid smiles, then asks, "If you had a choice, would you want to be turned back into your old self, or would you rather stay like this?"

The Sheriff looks into the undergrowth and smiles. "You're asking a lot of very difficult questions, you know. To be honest, I don't know. I mean, I really liked my old self and my life, but I was a 61-year-old man. Let's just say my prime was behind me. Now I'm what, 20 years old? Probably not even that. I have no back pains and feel like a hyperactive child on steroids. Would you want to be changed back if you were me?"