So Close (Camren)

7 - I Try To Find You

a/n: what up, cute stuff? here's a considerably lengthy update for ya to make up for the days that i was a bit behind my already poorly scheduled updates. anyway the song rec (and featured song!!) for this chapter is Inside by Lauren Jauregui!! talk about breaking the fourth wall, huh? hope you enjoy reading!! hearts!!

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Lauren fiddles with the edges of her flannel as she walks aimlessly around the city, trying to calm herself down and even out her breathing as she does so. It was still fairly early so it wasn't so loud and crowded as it was during the night. She feels her stomach grumble and almost wishes that she stayed in the diner with her manager Steve and Ally. Almost.

She understands them. Hell, she knows she needs help. She feels fucking patheric every morning after a night of her binge drinking. She just - she's scared. No, wait - scared is an understatement.

She is completely and irrevocably terrified. Drinking has been the only way she's known to fend off the thoughts that threaten to utterly destroy the little worth she sees in herself.

And it's not like she wanted to become an alcoholic in exchange for chasing her dreams of performing the music she makes to whoever wants to listen. Singing used to help Lauren feel. Up to the point where Lucy made her feel like she's the most cruel person in the world for doing what she loves, well, she guesses that it's safe to say that it all went downhill from there.

Lauren chooses a small coffee shop just across an apartment complex to eat brunch in. She likes how it had a small patch of picketed grass where a few rosemaries and roses grew, safe from being trampled by pedestrians. Her fingers find the handle and she goes inside, immediately getting hit by the warm scent of freshly brewed coffee. A door chime announces her arrival and without looking up, the person behind the counter greets her with a cheerful voice.

"Good morning Miss Camila!"

"Oh, uh - I think you got the wrong person." Lauren said with a small smile as she walks towards the counter, making the person behind the cashier look up.

"Oh, sorry miss! I didn't mean to! She's just a regular here and she usually comes here earlier but she hasn't and when i hear the door chime I thought it was her - " the person behind the cashier, who turns out to be an innocent-looking teenager, rambles on.

"It's fine! It's fine. I just, um, I'm kind of not from this area so..." Lauren couldn't help but laugh a little which greatly calms the cashier down.

"Oh! That explains the new face. Not so much people really go here because it's kind of hidden from the busier parts of the city but it's usually also the reason why our regulars come in here. But now that you've mentioned it, would you like to hear about our specials?"

"Sure!" Lauren says, seemingly to have forgotten her rage from the fear rooting from the conversation she had with her manager earlier.

The rest of the day passes rather smoother than how it started for Lauren. The brunette chose to stay in the coffee shop for longer than she planned and ended up asking the cashier for some extra table napkins for her to write lyrics on and a marker.

"A marker?" The persom behind the cashier named 'Heather', as it was written on her name tag, asked.

"Yeah, well, this coffee shop has a good vibe to it and it kinda makes me want to get some of my creative juices flowing, y'know?"

"Oooh, do you write, Miss Lauren? I mean if - only if you don't mind me asking!" Heather rambles yet again, making Lauren chuckle.

"Please, just call me Lauren. It's not like there's really anyone around to hear us. And yeah, since I don't really mind you asking, I guess you can say that I do write - I sing, actually."