What Tears Us Apart(Sequel to What Brings Us Together)

Chapter Fifty: Is That Who I Am Now?

After spending an entire day cooking, we managed to come up with most of the food compromises. The Wilson family made all of our usual food, and then Debbie and Ralph took care of the must-have Dibny dishes. The only things that we had to figure out were the turkey, the mashed potatoes, the rolls, since according to Debbie there would definitely be a big debate about that, the stuffing, and the gravy. But we were going to deal with all of that in the morning.

Now it was night time and we had all settled into the living room with a lit fireplace and a bottle of wine, since everyone was staying here.

I had changed into my pajamas and was sitting on the couch with Ralph. He had his arm over the back of the couch, and I was turned so that my back was pressed against his side and my head was laid back on his shoulder. Hannah sat at the end of the couch by my feet, sitting cross-legged, while Thomas and Debbie shared the love seat and Mom sat in Dad's lap in the arm chair. Debbie was telling stories of past Dibny Thanksgivings.

"The Turkey was ruined, the mashed potatoes were basically soup, the stuffing was burned, and everything was just a complete disaster," Debbie said, "Ralph's father had just left and I was so, so young. But I insisted on doing it myself and ended up ruining everything. I remember sitting on my kitchen floor, covered in just about every kind of food there was, just crying because I knew I was never going to get anything done in time for the next day. And I remember, Ralph sat down on one side of me, and Grandma Dibny sat down on the other, and Ralph-do you remember what you said Ralph?" I looked up at him.

"Why did the Turkey cross the road twice?" Ralph asked."To prove he wasn't a chicken."

"Dude, that's...really terrible." Thomas said, chuckling.

"Give me a little credit. I was only seven years old." Ralph told him.

"But anyway, he said that and then Grandma Dibny, who keep in mind isn't even my mom said, 'Debbie...there's no use crying over a ruined dinner. You are going to get through this Thanksgiving the exact same way you are going to get through raising that boy on your own...with your head held high and your family by your side." I smiled. "And then we stayed up all night, all three of us, and we had the best dinner prepared for the next day."

"That's a great story, Debbie." Mom told her. She smiled in thanks.

"Do you know why I told that one?" She asked. She looked at me. "I want you to know what a good woman she is...because I'm gonna be honest, Laura I don't know how much of that side of her you are going to see tomorrow. She likes to make sure that the women the Dibny boys choose to spend their lives with are in it for the long haul. I went through it, and I survived and let me tell you...once you pass her little test, she is by your side for life." I nodded, a foreboding feeling creeping up. 

"Its going to be fine," Ralph told me, pressing his lips to the top of my head, "I don't think anyone who meets you could ever doubt that we were meant to be together."

"Aw." Mom, Hannah, and Debbie all cooed at the same time. I smiled, leaning back further into Ralph.

~~~

The sleeping arrangements were simple. Mom and Dad took Ralph and I's bed while Debbie took Hannah's. Hannah slept on the love seat, while Thomas took the longer couch, and then Ralph and I had made a pallet out of blankets on the living room floor. I laid on my back, staring at the ceiling. Ralph draped an arm over my stomach and pressed his forehead against the side of my face.

"You're freaking out, aren't you?" He whispered drowsily.

"I think knowing that something bad is coming only makes it worse." I whispered back. I was talking about Grandma Dibny but...I had a weird feeling that this applied to several other areas in my life.

"Its going to be ok," He said, "I literally died and that didn't break our relationship, so I highly doubt some hazing from my grandma is gonna send you running for the hills." I sighed. "Is something else on your mind?"

There were so many things on my mind. I had enough to worry about in my daily life and now I'm adding Thanksgiving into the mix and it just all seems a bit too much. I feel like I'm drowning in problems and complications and the one person that I know can make it all go away, the one person that could help me keep my head above water...

I can't tell him. It will destroy him because...like I said, knowing that something bad is coming only makes it worse. I learned that with Ralph's death, and I'm feeling it with the impending loss of the memories of everything that I have ever known, and...I can't do that to him. I can't, because it is the worse thing I have ever felt, rivaled only by the guilt I felt when Ralph died and I failed to save the day. I know that if I tell him, he's going to have to experience both of those painful experiences and I don't want him to ever know what that feels like. Ever. So I simply say;

"Something else is always on my mind," I said, "You know me, I think about everything."

"Well, I think I might know a way to distract you." I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Ralph, we're laying on the living room floor with my brother and our kid three feet away-"

"That is not what I mean Laura, you perv. Get your mind out of the gutter." He said. I chuckled, rolling my eyes. "I was insinuating that maybe if you go to sleep, you won't think about everything."

"Yeah well...that's easier said than done."

"Well, come here." I rolled over, laying my head on his chest. He began running his fingers up and down my back, and much to my surprise...

I actually managed to fall asleep.

~~~

I was up early again the next morning attempting to get everything ready. I was putting out extra seating in the living room, putting decorations on the tables and on the mantel piece, I had my record player ready to play quietly in the background and I lit just about every fall-scented candle I had. Yes, I was scared and nervous and stressed out about literally everything, but at least our apartment smells like a pumpkin.

I was currently organizing place-mats on the table and trying not to think about everything I had to worry about when I felt a pair of hands on my hips and Ralph's lips move against my ear.

"I like the dress." He said quietly. I smiled, leaning back against his chest and he moved hi arms to wrap around my waist.

"Thanks."

"So..." He put his hands on my hips again, turning me to face him and wrapping his arms around me. I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I need to ask a favor."

"What kind of favor?" I asked, lightly playing with the soft ends of his hair.

"Try to remember that this is a holiday," he said, "I don't want you getting so wrapped up in the food and impressing my grandma that you don't have any fun." I nodded.

"Ok."

"That wasn't very convincing." I laughed, and to my surprise it was a real one.

"Ok, I promise I'll try to enjoy myself today."

"Thank you." He pulled me closer to him, pressing his lips to my forehead. He pulled back and tucked my hair behind me ear before looking over at the stairs. "How long have you been standing there?" I turned, looking where he was looking to see Debbie, leaned against the banister, watching us with tears in her eyes.

"Not long." She said quietly, wiping her eyes.

"Mom, why are you crying?" He asked, pulling away from me. "Is everything ok-'

"Its fine, Ralph, everything's fine." She said. "Its just you two...you're so sweet and in love and I'm just...I'm just so happy that both of you found each other." I smiled. "Its a very special thing to find someone that you can just be one hundred percent yourself."

Is that what I'm doing? Lying and deceiving the one person I care about most in the world? Is that who I am now?

You're lying to protect him...so yes.