Missin' You Crazy (fluff)

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Prompt: Perrie and Jade are exes and while Perrie thinks that she now have a new damn good girl, she still keeps on missin' Jade crazy.

Perrie's POV

It's been way too long, since I seen you, looked you in your eyes

It's been exactly 10 months since we broke up. Things have changed from then. I finally got promoted at my job. From being the executive assistant I am now the official executive coordinator which is quite good actually. 

We've waited for this to happen for so long. Too bad that the person that I started this journey with is not with me anymore. Damn. I'm thinking about her again.

Focus, Perrie. Your life is going so well, you should move on. You have your new lover, why keep on thinking of her

"Hey baby, I brought you lunch.", a sweet voice called out to me and pulled me out of my reverie. 

Speaking of my new lover...

"Hi, Cami. Thank you so much, sweet baby. I love how you always cook lunch for me.", I smiled, grateful for all of her efforts. 

"Of course, anything for my Perrie.", she replied, still a sweet, innocent tone lingering in her voice. 

She sat on the void chair just in front of me and I set the lunch that she prepared on my table, ignoring the papers. 

Opening the lid of the tupperware, the aroma of chicken fillet alfredo pasta greeted me. 

I looked at her and beamed. "Thanks, baby. You know me too well."

After that, she told me about what she was doing for half of the day while I occasionally reply to her with laughs or another story of mine, still eating the lunch she cooked for me. She is such a bright and bubbly person and everyone would surely love her in the future. She deserves someone who is completely devoted to her and it sucks to think that I am still not that person. I know that I have been treating her very differently on how a girlfriend should treat her lover but what can I do? Can you blame me for still not being over and still missing my ex?

I shook the thought off my mind. I am being quickly distracted these days. Fuck, Edwards, get yourself together. 

Trying to focus on Camila, I once again complimented the meal that she prepared for me and I was carried away with her reply, causing me to think more about our situation.

"I'm willing to cook whatever favorite food you're in the mood of eating for the rest of my life. I love you so much, Perrie.", she said and looked at me sincerely. Her words exactly displaying how she meant all of it.

I wish I could completely say it back to her without hesitating even for a minute. But now, I am still not sure and despite 6 months of dating, I still couldn't get myself to say it back to her. 

As ironic as it sounds, I still am not over the woman that I broke up with. I know, I shouldn't love her until now because after all, I was the one who broke up with her but now, thinking about it, I am regretting it. I still want her in my life. I shouldn't have let her go. I was so stupid to do that back then. I just lost the best part of my life --- her

Realizing that Camila is still waiting for my reply, I answered her in the safest way possible.

"Thank you, that means a lot, Cami.", I replied back, smiling at her. I just said that instead of pretending to say or make myself feel whatever she wants me to even though I don't. I don't want to lie to her most especially to myself.

Her smile faltered from her face and I know that she was disappointed with the answer that she got. I just looked away and started eating the food.

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