Your UnSlut Project

Submitted by @fathomsofeternity

I was eleven when I met Holly. Holly and I had just started junior high. We met in the school band and both played flute. We immediately connected, or at least I did. Don't get me wrong, Holly was a wonderful friend in Year 6.

Having just gotten my first cellphone, I was able to text her and call her when I wanted to talk. We would talk for hours about homework, things that happened in class and generally, everything.

Out of all three years of junior high, the first year, Year 6, was my happiest. They say, "Ignorance is bliss," and well, it's true!

The next year, Year 7, was the year that Holly began to hang out with three other girls exclusively. Let's call them Allie, JoAnna and Zoe. At first, I was excited to have a larger group of "friends". JoAnna and Zoe were very friendly, but Allie wasn't as much. I didn't really care all that much though because well, I had Holly, JoAnna, and Zoe.

Allie still bugging me. Things never got patched up between us in any way. Zoe, as I later learned, followed Allie like a puppy. Allie would tell me that she had to talk to Zoe frequently and in in private, she'd say. I would let them talk. The worst part was that they would talk about a homework assignment. Not once was it confidential secrets!

Feeling annoyed, I confronted Allie. I told her something along the lines of: "Well, I think if it's about homework I can stand there. Its not like it's that important."

That just made her furious.

The next day, I was going to class after lunch and I stumbled upon one of the boys that was considered popular. Let's call him Todd. (I wasn't and still am not considered popular.) His friends followed after him.

Waiting for him to say one of his usual sexist remarks, I kept my pace. When we got to class, he grabbed my arm and pulled me near him. I almost stomped on his foot. He leaned close and whispered in my ear, "Do I make your nipples hard?"

Shocked, I stopped and just went silent. I didn't talk to anyone. I went on autopilot. After school, he and his friends caught up to me after school and Todd said, "So? What's you answer?"

I stopped in my tracks, causing him to bump into me. I was running on pure anger. I turned around to face him and said, "Holy shit! Why do you bug me? What the fuck did I do to you?" That was the first time I had ever cussed.

Todd and his friends never bugged me again. However, I did hear whispers around the school about how I gave him a blow job, which never happened. It was a rumor to hide the fact that Ms. Goodie Two Shoes told Mr. Popularity off.

I heard snippets here and there:

"Slut"

"Whore"

"Bitch"

My "friends" didn't leave or change. They simply ignored everything. The rumors eventually ended a few months later and by that time, it was summer so it didn't really matter anymore.

When Year 8 started, I knew everyone had forgotten about Todd's shenanigans, and they had. Everything was as perfect as it could get until about January. That was when Holly changed drastically.

She and I were sitting in our maths class and she blankly looked at me and said, "I don't want to be your friend anymore."

I was obviously confused. "Why?"

Holly rubbed her temples. "Over the summer, I had aunts and uncles die in the war."

Not seeing a connection to our "friendship", I asked her how it affected our "friendship".

With a sneer she said, "I just hate you and find you annoying. I am not pretending to be your friend anymore."

My heart had been ripped out.

I knew that that meant I wasn't welcome to sit with her, Zoe, Allie, and JoAnna at lunch.

Sitting alone during lunch is boring. Eventually, I began to believe all the things Holly would post on QuoteV.com about me. I would cry myself to sleep almost every other night.

I developed a severe form of depression. It got to the point where I wanted to just "disappear". I became suicidal. I began cutting. I was a mess.

I wanted to swallow a few extra pills sometimes, but I couldn't. I don't know why I couldn't, but I just couldn't. I was incapable of it.

Two years later, I am a sophomore in high school. Currently, I never talk to Allie, JoAnna, or Holly. Recently, I have been talking to Zoe and she has grown a lot in the last two years and I could say she is very close to me.

All of the scars on my arms are faded and barely visible. I have been seven months clean from cutting.

Lately, I have met some wonderful new friends and am living well.