Your UnSlut Project

Submitted by @an0nymous-writer

I was never called a slut to my face but it was fairly obvious what people were thinking. In the Indian community I grew up around, modesty was a necessity in appearance and mind. Girls weren't allowed to wear short skirts and tank tops. But as kids, no one really followed that.

It was frowned upon to have a crush or even think about love (which is ironic because Indian movies were about finding love). When I was in 3rd or 4th grade, I started to develop a crush on one of my close guy friends. And I told "P" about my crush. I was confident that she wouldn't tell anyone but I guess I was wrong.

She told all my other friends and her mom. Her mom being her mom, she told everyone in the small Indian community. I was instantly labeled as a slut. Everyone slowly excluded my family. And I felt like crap. Even the guy's mom hated us. As soon as my dad found out about my crush, he forced me to apologize for having a crush to the boy. He forced me to apologize! Apologize for a feeling I can't control!

Now back to the clothes thing. My body developed before many other girls' did. And I wore short skirts and leggings with a T-shirt, which also led to the assumption that I was a slut. I would sometimes hear parents say to their kids, "Don't dress like that or you'll end up like _____ and think silly things about love!" It hurt. It really hurt. And I was only 8 at that time, raised to be the perfect daughter. This was a big blow to my confidence.

And to stack something else on top of it, the school I went to was racist and wasn't very diverse. Living in a primarily white and Spanish neighborhood, and just some Indians old enough to go to elementary school, I was separated from a lot of things. Kids would tease me and calm me hurtful names.

One time in fourth grade, two boys cornered me and started saying that I was useless and many, many other things. Slowly, they grinned away my defenses and started to touch me inappropriately. I didn't report it at first because I thought I would only get me into more trouble. Boy, was I right. I told a teacher and she said to stop making up lies and gave me detention for a week. And the boys kept harassing me.

I did try to stand up for myself. I kicked and punched and once I bit one of the boy's hands. It kept them away, but the names were still thrown at me.

I did move out of that school in 6th grade into a much better school. There was some bullying, but it wasn't as bad as my old school. I stopped wearing those mini skirts and switched to jeans. My family moved away from the Indian community and started with a fresh slate. Well, at least that's what it felt like for me.

I am now in 8th grade and I haven't experienced any harassment, and the occasional visits from my fellow Indians have been okay. And I have gained my confidence once again.

All I want to say is don't put yourself down because of what other people said, as I did. It only results in more pain. And try to push past the people who are bothering you and be the bigger person. One thing I regret to this day is not screaming to the adults who said those things about me that having a crush is normal and that they are causing serious damage to little kids (and more). Just stay strong, be brave, and fight for yourself!