Your UnSlut Project

Submitted by @rana-i-am, Author of "Breathe"

I'm from Saudi Arabia, and I'm sure you've heard about the absurd culture and restrictions. It's really not a good place to live.

My parents divorced in the year 2000, when I was 4. I lived with my mom until 2008, and then she sort of had a mental break down, and gave up her custody over one of my brothers and me (we were the only minors left, of 5 siblings). We were in Canada at the time, but we left and went to Saudi Arabia to live with her family, a while before she gave us up.

When we moved in with our father, we went to live in the Philippines for about 6 years. I honestly have no idea why.

Anyway, when I was 14, I had my first boyfriend. We were together for a year and 2 months. I was really in love, and I'm sure he cared about me too. My brother, 15 at the time, started threatening that guy so he'd stay away from me.

At a parent-teacher conference, a month after that guy and I broke up, my teacher told my dad about the relationship. It affected my performance in school, and my teachers were concerned.

My father beat me for it. Not just once or twice, but every single time he felt like it. He has also verbally abused me a lot since then, calling me a slut, bitch, whore - I've heard everything.

Not only that, but he'd talk trash about me to my brothers who were living abroad. He'd exaggerate everything, making me sound like a criminal. They didn't live with me, so they didn't really know what to believe. And since my father is a grown man, approaching his 70s, it'd be absurd to think he'd make things like that up. It is absurd, but true.

I've dated since then, a lot. I don't know, a part of me thinks finding a person that can love me completely, and falling in love, would make me forget how bad things were for me. I never really felt loved, as dumb as that sounds, so I hoped I could have a fairytale ending.

When I was 17, I got caught with last guy I've dated.

I loved him hard, I've done so much for him, but he was a jerk. It's a really really long and emotional story. My dad found out about it, and abused me so much more. He kept the abuse up for ages, physical and verbal. Every time I got sick, instead of him being a decent person, he accused me of being pregnant.

The thing is that I'm a really shy person, and people like me a lot. Only my family questions my decency. Other people respect me, and I think I'm likable. I'm 18, and am actually a virgin, so I don't get why I'm such a "slut".