Your UnSlut Project

Submitted by @ringettegurl

I'd like to start by saying the miniscule amount of time it takes for a girl to be branded as a 'slut' is alarming. During the 6th grade, a new girl who was to be joining my class after the winter break, came in to meet our teacher and watch part of our (gym) class. 

She was introduced, and the first thing anyone did, was a girl (now one of her best friends) made a joke about her name. Not cool. 

By lunch, after she'd left to go back home, the girls had already been speculating that because she'd been wearing so much makeup (only eye shadow, mascara, and blush, which isn't really that much) that she was obviously a whore. 

There was also the notion that "hey, maybe she'll turn out to be a total bitch", which, I'm sad to say, was suggested to two of my best friends by none other than their mothers, and for a moment, I agreed.  

The things people said about her when she first came to our school were mostly about her body. She's a tall, long-legged, tan-skinned, all around beautiful girl, but there is so much more to her than that, and nobody sees it at first glance. 

My one best friend was dating a boy who'd liked her for a long time (5 years) at the time. Immediately when he saw the new girl, he knew he wanted to date her instead. 
 
During the time they were dating, he was at the arena, same as she, hanging out with his hockey teammates, while she was hanging out with her long-time guy friend. Now, this guy friend knew that the boyfriend was jealous and didn't like him, but it didn't stop him from spending time with his friend. Just them sitting in the arena seats beside each other fuelled her boyfriend to fume about what a "slut" she was to his hockey team, when in fact all she was doing was sitting peacefully and talking with someone who'd been her friend far longer than she'd been dating her boyfriend. In other words, her boyfriend was completely in the wrong to be speaking such lies, especially verbalizing them to other people who knew her, and would no doubt spread this information as rumors. 

He hid his attraction to the new girl, continuing to 'date' my friend for a month, before she found out and broke up with him (to this day, they laugh about who broke up with whom). He was pursuing the new girl, even before my friend broke it off with him.

He continued this, and the comments you'd hear from sitting near him and his friends during lunch are things I'd rather not hear about a girl I actually liked for her personality. 

The conversation often drifted to features such as her breasts (and how small they were compared to other things), or her bum, and how "nice" her ass was. 

Now, she is no saint, which was proven when, at a dance this year, she walked right up to my neighbor (and longtime friend) who liked her for her looks, and said (and I quote): "Why don't you stop talking about my ass!? Don't even look at it." And then walked away. 

You'd think that her standing up for herself would help things, right? It didn't. As she walked away, not only did he still stare, all of his friends did too, and they started talking about it. 

Back to my best friend... She (up until a month or two ago) thought of her as a slut who ruined her relationship, and I'm ashamed to say I thought so too. 

All this attention the girls around us get, in a bad nature, contribute to the low self esteem of girls today. I know, as much as I'd rather not be hearing everyone in the hallways whispering (quite too loudly) about my body, I wished I had some of that attention. 

This brings me to my next topic. While some girls get no attention of that sort from the opposite sex, these select few get a bit too much, which results in a lot of quick, failed relationships, which also contributes to them being labelled as 'sluts', 'skanks', 'whores', and many other things. 

A girl on my bus is very attractive, and often attracts all the wrong sort of attention. The result of this attention (and other aspects of her life, such as alcohol intake and use of drugs, but mostly her appearance) have fuelled many rumors, and prompted many different claims against her that, for all I, or anyone else besides herself, knows, may be false. 

One of these such claims is that "Oh, I wouldn't be surprised if she and ____ had sex already.... actually, I know for a fact they did. They went to see Fifty Shades of Grey together and after....." all that, blahblah. Along with it are always the same comments, such as "She's such a whore"
or "Sluts like her will be pregnant by 16."

It is my belief, that this negative attention may have contributed to her choice to go to parties and drink illegally, as well as use illegal drugs on a regular basis. 

I'll admit, once again, for a time, I agreed with these beliefs, based on what I'd known about her from staying at her house before. But do I really know? If you're lost, the answer is no, I don't have any knowledge of her personal life, or her self respect.

I'd also like to point out that the word 'slut' actually means 'a woman who does not keep her room tidy'.  In which case, a fair amount of girls would be considered 'sluts'....

This new meaning given to the word, that a 'slut' is a girl who sleeps around, is completely uncalled for, and i'm not encouraging people to be more or less offended by it, but when you use a word, under the impression it means something other than what it does, will it really have the same affect? In our society, the answer is 'yes', when it should be 'no'....

We have warped our understanding of definitions, to make words offensive, to feel power, and that's not okay.

Do you know what is okay? 

Standing up for yourself, like the aforementioned 'New Girl" did, and continues to do, to this day. She still can't go a week without either hearing directly, or hearing of people talking about her body, or what they'd like to do to it, or someone calling her a slut for what other people are saying about her. 

Do you see the problem yet? 

Our society today shames girls for being objectified by (some - not all of) the males around them, a matter in which they have no say, and are unable to prevent, no matter how hard they try. 

So, fellow human beings, let's try and keep our comments nice, and get the point across that 'slut' shaming is not okay, and the effects it can have on girls is not okay. I've talked to many depressed young women, and 'slut' shaming and sexual harassment are the root of most of their depression.