Klance Oneshots

Immortality

Yeah..., so I'm immortal. It's no big deal. Really. It's actually pretty boring to be honest. You don't usually deal with life or death situations on a daily basis. Me saying I'm immortal is better to be rephrased as, 'if by the off chance I were to be stabbed at this very moment, I wouldn't die'. Sure that way sounds a lot less like I'm about to embark on some outrageous journey to God knows where, but at least it's more honest.

You may be asking yourself, how did I find out I'm immortal in the first place? Well, I drew the short straw and was lucky enough to undergo that 'off chance'. I was 12 when I fell off a building.

That sounds like some really cool scene from a movie, but trust me, it wasn't. My reasoning is, in a movie, when they fall, it's elegant. Time slows and you see the horror on the actor's face as they realize they're heading straight for their inevitable death. You see the very moment where their life flashes before their eyes and it's heartbreaking.

I fell off a roof. That's it. I tripped and fell. My last thoughts before I hit the ground was 'wow, this is a pretty stupid way to die'. Time didn't slow, but I felt weightless for a moment before I flattened on the asphalt of the parking lot below.

I think I blacked out, I couldn't tell you how long it lasted. Thirty seconds? Five minutes? An hour? Time wasn't important and I didn't bother to check it when I realized that was miraculously still alive after falling from an eight story building. It didn't seem like a priority.

I was surrounded by blood and when I reached up to feel my head, it was matted with the same substance. I had the worst headache in history and now that I think about it, it was because my brain was (likely) Silly Putty in my skull. It only lasted about five minutes before I felt good as new. The only evidence of what had happened was the amount of blood.

Cleaning up the mess was possibly the worst part. I felt a constant worry that someone would see me frantically trying to clean up a bloody mess in an empty parking lot and call the cops.

But no cops were called and the mess was cleaned.

When I'd gotten home, I was happy to find the house was empty. I took a shower letting the red colors swirl and mix with the transparent water before flowing down the drain.

I wasn't in any pain and I suffered no wounds. My hair was still damp and although it was short, some still stuck to the back of my neck. Tying my towel around my waist, I took a deep breath letting it out shakily. Pulling open a drawer I had grabbed a pair of my moms scissors she used to cut my siblings' hair.

I was about to plunge the sharp tool into my stomach but froze. If this somehow was only a one time thing, a miracle, I'd have killed myself. So instead, I plunged it into my hand.

Let me tell you...that hurts.

I howled in pain backing up into the wall. It was unbearable, and in a moment of adrenaline, I managed to pull them out.

I was breathing heavy and I quickly moved my hand to the sink turning on the water. It burned but it quickly faded. The cut seemed to mend itself together before my eyes.

My heavy breaths turned into a strained shocked laugh. I couldn't believe it.

Since then, I've become more familiar with how this immortality thing works. I still age. I don't get sick and I maintain perfect health. I still bleed, obviously. All my wounds heal within a matter of a few seconds to minutes, however it usually depends on the severity of the wound.

A paper cut heals instantaneously as opposed to a large gaping hole in my abdomen which will take upward of a minute. I still feel the pain but I've developed a tolerance over the years after many self experiments.