it brings this kind of love, ⁿᵃ ʲᵃᵉᵐⁱⁿ

final piece.

ㅡ carmia

I stare at the piano in front of me, thinking about what I could do with it for the rest of my life.

Ever since that day, I couldn't play the piano.

It's like I lost my connection with the thing that connected me and my mom.

I didn't know how to feel anymore after playing that piece my mother made.

It's like it's made for breaking something that wasn't supposed to break but has to be played eventually.

After that performance, it went big.

Everyone loved it and hoped to be played again but will that piece be heard ever again?

Will those emotions continue to reach people?

Will those colors continue to spread?

Will it stop and become as gray as the clouds in a stormy day?

Can I actually still play?

I place my hands on the keys and pressed on it, making that sound I once feel connected with.

I'm not sure if I'm losing interest or I just can't it.

Do I feel guilty?

Do I feel sad?

Do I feel happy?

I don't know, I don't feel anything.

I look out the window, seeing the clear dark sky that seemed so peaceful but it's not.

Even skies have their own stories as well.

Everyone said their condolences. Everyone pitied us. Everyone cried their eyes out.

But all I experience was joy, joy because my parents can finally rest in peace, joy because I felt like my role is over.

I exited my house, greeted by the sky.

I start walking, not caring where my feet leads me to.

I feel like everything is hard to feel now. I feel like I never even played the piano through out my life.

My happiness was in my grasp the whole time yet, I was too blind to see it.

I was too endorsed with my own problems that I didn't even feel it.

Was my happiness was really in my grasp or was that just a feeling when I played the piano?

I stopped my tracks when I start hearing my mother's piece. I looked around, realizing that I'm in the streets of Myeongdeong.

I turned to my side, seeing myself play the piano, crying. Everyone was stopping to watch me on the TV.

I wonder of they really know how I feel.