it brings this kind of love, ⁿᵃ ʲᵃᵉᵐⁱⁿ

piece no. 9

ㅡ Carmia

I look around but everything was pitch black. I suddenly start hearing the piano.

Such a mysterious and familiar but I can't being my hands on it.

I decided to follow the sound and saw myself playing it. I look emotionless but o can totally feel the emotions that I'm trying to send.

But something else was there, and it scares me. I closed my eyes and opened them again when there was a change of pace.

I then saw my mother playing it with my father playing the violin. I looked on my left and saw myself crying.

A grown up Na Jaemin suddenly starts walking towards me and reach his hand out. I grab his hand and held it tightly as he kissed it.

The piece sped up even more to the point where it felt like a roller coaster.

Na Jaemin suddenly starts disappearing. I felt my world starting to either shake or crumble.

I looked at my parents and they were disappearing as well. Everything was turning into white and starts to disappear but the sound of the piano didn't disappear.

It just continued with that pace that I'm used to playing, it's backfiring.

I started to shake when I felt the floor disappearing as well. In another second, I felt myself falling off the last tile.

The piano piece was still continuing and I can feel myself crying as I fall.

Everything is crumbling. Everything in my life is disappearing.

I'm scared, I'm scared.. Help me.

Stop this please.

The colors kept on changing like how the piano changes it sound every time the pace is being increased.

It's scary, it's terrifying.

From Black to White, to Red, to Blue to all the colors in one picture.

I suddenly saw Jaemin looking at me when I opened my eyes. He was staring deeply into me like he's planning on taking my soul.

I reach my hand out to him and as he grabbed it, he pulled me close to him as we both continued to fall.

He kissed my forehead and lips before letting me go. He pushed me away from him and tears started falling even more.

Why..? Why are you pushing me away? Why just why?

I'm scared, even more.. I'm more terrified.

Stop this please. Stop. Just end, stop.

"Just stop!!"

I opened my eyes to see myself in my bedroom. I was breathing heavily. I looked at my side and saw a worried Jaemin.

"Yah! I've been trying to wake you up for the past twenty minutes! Did you know how much you scared me because you were crying and mumbling while sleeping!?

Why? Are you having a nightmare? What is it aboutㅡ" I immediately jumped into his arms.

".. don't push me away from you... please.." I said, as I can hear my own sobbing. He hugged me back while caressing my hair.

"Why would I push you away from me? You're basically my life." He said, softly as if he was taking me as a vulnerable glass.. and I am now, in this state.

He just let me cry in his arms as he continues to caress my hair, calming me down a bit.

"I had a nightmare.. everything was disappearing. The piano was just playing in a pace that I couldn't believe I was playing for my whole life.

I was falling, you grabbed my hand before kissing me but then pushed me away. I was scared, Jaemin. I was terrified!" I said, almost shouting the he shushed me.

"Like I said, I won't leave you. I won't push you away." He said as he made me lie down again but this time, he lie down beside me.

He wrapped his arms around me as we cuddled. He kissed my forehead before he starts singing me a lullaby.

I felt safe around him yet, he scares me. I trust his words but I feel like nothing will work between us since we're both busy, especially him since he's an idol.

I love him yet I'm scared to love him.

I'm scared to lose him...

ㅡ Jaemin

I stare at the girl in my arms.

I understand you completely. I know what happened to your mother because of Taeyong Hyung.

He told me everything and why you went abroad.

You never wanted that, we both never wanted that. We just wanted what's the best for us but we never wanted to be apart.

He was right.

I relied on Carmia too much. I was the one putting burden on her shoulders instead of helping her get it off.

I was dependent on her.

But she kept it all her emotions a secret, after all, she isn't good with words.

On that day, she played for her mother on last time, which is why she was emotionless.

Inside this girl is a girl with the biggest heart that deserved the world. She doesn't deserve this fear she has now.

She isn't supposed to be scared to love because she lost someone she dearly loves before.

That's her weakness, to love and feel like they're going to disappear from her life.

She doesn't deserves it.

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