Harry's PoV
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My hands struggle to find my phone and shut the snooze up. I wake up with a headache. The blinders are out and the sunlight is blinding me. I sit up leaning on my elbows, rubbing my eyes. I grab the shirt laying on the floor which I tossed on the ground last night and wear it. While running my hand through my curls, I head downstairs in my comfy shorts.
Reaching halfway down, I start to hear chattering from the Hall. I walk down with a frown still being a little sleepy. Reaching down I see Mom, Dad and Alena sitting with William, her agent, having some serious discussion. What is William doing here? I then notice two suitcases in the hallway.
IS ALENA LEAVING?!
Realising this my heart instantly drops in my knees. "What's happening?!" I unintentionally speak loudly suddenly being afraid of something I can't put finger on.
Everyone immediately looked up at me.
"Harry? Honey you're up?" "William is here. Remember he is Alena's age-"
"I know who he is Mom but what is he doing here? And what's up with those bags?" I don't care about offending William and glance at the bags again and again.
"Are you leaving?" I dart my eyes at Alena.
"Harry, baby..." Mom begins to calm me down and continuously passes smiles at William making the situation less embarrassing for her. "Baby no one is leaving. It's Alena's stuff which she left behind" "William is just here to drop it and to check on her"
Listening to Mom's words, everything inside me starts functioning normally again and I feel relieved. "Oh" I glance at William before walking behind Alena, who's entering the kitchen.
"I thought you were leaving. Got worried for moment" I say calmly while reaching out to the juice jar and a glass.
She doesn't respond to me and instead starts filling some dishes with some snacks. I frown at her silence. It's odd.
"When did he get here? What time is it even?" I scoff before taking a sip of orange juice.
Listening that, she doesn't even makes a slight movement or there's no change of expressions. But I know she heard me.
"Alena, what's up? I'm talking to you" I lean towards her after standing right besides her.
"I know. I just had nothing so say" she say I'm dead tone and straight face without even looking at me.
"YOU had nothing to SAY?" I emphasise.
After a second, she picks up the tray filled with snacks in her hands and straight up look me in the eyes. "Maybe I did. I just chose not to talk to you"
"What?! Al-"
"And if you really want a reply, then I really have nothing to say except for apologising" "I'm sorry your wishes didn't come true but don't worry they soon will. Just bear me for a few months more and then I promise I won't show you my face ever again. Will free you from my awful, miserable and empty life" "You'll get rid of me soon, Harry" "I promise" after cutting me off and spitting these words, she left.
Left me behind confused. What? Get rid of you? What is she talking about-Did I make her feel like I want to get rid of her by saying all those things yesterday? Things which I said out of anger which were pointless!!? FUCK!
***
William has left but the guilt inside me after recalling what awful things I said to Alena are stuck in my head badly. I'm pacing in my room contemplating about it over and over again. How can I mess up so bad? Empty life? Seriously Harry? How do I even make up?
I try talking to her all day but she always found out a way to avoid me. It has started killing me now. We haven't talked/fought since morning and it doesn't feel normal.
***
It's Friday evening and I have leave for the bonfire. I get changed into a grey tshirt and black jeans and walk towards Alena's room to ask if she's coming.
I knock her room door slowly and a few seconds later she opens it slightly, peeking from behind the door.
"Just wanted to ask if-"
As soon as she sees me on the door the shuts the door cutting me off. I startle for a quick second but then clench on her audacity to shut the door on my face. Remembering what I did, I gulp the anger and speaks anyways knowing she was listening.
"Look...." "Alena I-" I try apologising.
I'm not so used to apologising. I hate apologising. It makes me feel like shit, it makes me feel like I'm weak and I get very nervous and emotional while apologising. These are the only reasons why I avoid apologising not caring about the person's feelings. Why am I apologising to her then?
I don't know why I am doing this now. It's just something inside me, eating me and making me do this. Me apologising to Alena from behind the door has made it slightly easy. I anyways didn't wanted to it face to face.
"I'm sorry" I place my hand on the door while apologising in a very low and soft tone. "I really am" "I was mad at something and after you said those awful things about me, the anger shifted on you" "I really was out of my mind, Alena" I gulp and move closer to the door knowing she's right behind it as I could see the light coming out from the slight gap under her room door being blocked by her presence.
"You are right. No one can understand me neither can I and you are the first to say this to my face. I was just shocked and terrified listening the truth for the first time. I'm a terrible person, Alena, I know. Maybe really no girl or no person deserves me. I admit that am very short tempered asshole and a fucking jerk. I keep yelling at you for no reason. I don't know why and how but shouting and screaming on you calms the inner me. Frees my stress and frustration. I never realised this but I think you've become my punching bag-and I hate myself for that. You don't deserve it" "I'm-I'm extremely sorry, Alena" "Really!"
While saying this, something in my chest starts to burn and at the same time I start to feel light hearted. After blurting those words out, I find myself leaning my forehead to the door and my eyes are closed with a hand still on the door.
"Are you going to talk to me?" I ask after leaning my head back a bit.
After a few seconds, the door opens and she walks out wearing a navy casual floral wrap dress and with a tanned color overcoat in her hands. Her nose and cheeks were slightly pink and her lips were chapped. Did she cry?
"Can we get home before midnight?" She doesn't looks at me but everywhere else. Her voice sounded so croaky. She was definitely crying.
Instead of replying I just keep looking at her, finding answers in her eyes. A second later, I imagine something for a second and shock myself. I never thought I'd ever have an urge of.....of kissing her.
"Yes" I answer with a frown and just gaze at her. This has never happened to me before. It's a familiar feeling but something still feels missing. Something I want very badly.
She just nods and starts walking ahead. I literally just stand there and watch her walking away till she disappears.
What if she left today?
She didn't even respond to the things I just said. Her silence is provoking the furiousness inside me but maybe I am just getting anxious. I should give her some time.
Me hurting her so bad has changed something inside me and the worst part is that I don't know what it is. I hate when this happens.
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