I leave the auditorium and start walking towards the soccer ground, out of the building. It's no one in the hallway just me. I hear a low chattering from the men's room in the same hallway and I suppose the match hasn't started yet.
As I walk ahead I keep looking around randomly, lost deeply in my thoughts, mainly about what Austin said. After walking for a few seconds, my feet suddenly stop at the sound of something attention snatching. I hear a beautiful voice coming from the music room which is just a few steps away.
I just involuntarily walk towards the room and take a look at the person singing the song. I look through the glass to see who was singing so beautifully. I peek around the room and my search stops after figuring out a girl who was sitting on a chair with a guitar in her hands, singing with her eyes closed and seemed all lost in the song. My eyes enlarge realising it was none other than Alyssa. The one and only Alyssa.
I stand there listening to her mesmerising voice being surprised in a positive way. Her voice is so magical that I suddenly started hating her less and lesser.
Guess the song?
Back to December by Taylor Swift. Of course.
"........but if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right. I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't......"
Not going to lie to myself just because she has a past with someone I like, because the way she is singing feels so pure as I can feel the words coming out of her mouth in my bones. She plays guitar just so smoothly and perfectly. A quick flashback of a part of my past flashes before me and I decide to let it go for my good.
I slowly push the door making sure I don't make any noise and enter in. I stand there near the door until she finishes singing the lovely song and bring herself out of it.
"You are gifted with such an amazing voice" I say with a small and genuine smile around my face.
She immediately turns to me with a shocked face.
"Alena" She relieves seeing me.
"That was beautiful. Really" I walk to her.
She examines my face before her lips curve into a decent smile. "Thank you"
I nod. "So you sing for the choir group or something or just for personal space purpose?" I grab a chair and sit in front of her.
She slowly and carefully puts the guitar on its stand before replying. "For personal space. I like singing and playing this whenever I need mental healing. It helps my mind calm down" she answers with the smile on.
"Yeah of course, that's what music is for" I nod being intrigued.
"Do you sing or play any instrument? You seem to understand music" she asks.
"Umm, I kinda used to. William, my agent, gifted this beautiful guitar to me on my 12th birthday and I tragically happened to lost it two years later. I learnt a few songs on it which were close to my heart-which helped me a lot through my worst times and since I lost the guitar I stopped singing. It's been a long time" I partly tell her the story.
I'd never lose the only thing which kept me strong and alive through the hell of a days. The only thing I know I had of my mother's. William told me how music meant life to my mother. She owned this guitar on which she learnt everything she used to play it every time. Her voice was the reason dad fell in love with her at the first place. It was all black and her name was carved on the bottom of it. It was my everything.
I was devastated when the woman I used to live one day snatched it from me and sold it some random guy just because I didn't let her asshole son play it. I knew he'd never return it. He didn't even know the value of it, that how priceless it was for me.
I remember how I even fell on her feet, begging her not to sell it, also promised that I'd let her son play it. She didn't listen and did what she wanted to. Her son was just smirking on my face like he won a war. I even tried convincing him to stop his mom. Didn't work. I cried to sleep and woke with wet pillows and dried tears on my cheeks for weeks. Did not have food for days because of being mad at those people, I couldn't bare the pain. Losing your everything leaves you with nothing. Not even hope.
As the time passed and the families changed, I got over it. I never sang or played that instrument ever again in my life.
"Oh god!" "But why stop now? We have many guitars here, choose one and get started. Getting back to those things we left behind feels like getting back to the soul of life! Only we know how much we loved having them. Right?" She tried convincing me.
I wonder if she thinks like this about relationships too.
"I know. But sometimes you should forget what you left behind because going back to them takes you back to those good as well as bad memories you made with them. And why did you leave them behind at the first place if you knew you will keep wanting to go back to them and go through all that again?" "Usually when you are going back, you go back thinking the that thing hasn't change and it's going to be all same again, but no. Everything changes. Changes for its own good. It will never be the same and going back to it isn't worth then" "We better move on to better things ahead" I speak in other sense and I think she got it.
She looks at me for a few seconds processing what I just said and starts nodding slowly. "Maybe" "Maybe you are right. Maybe you are not" she shrugs.
"Yeah. Maybe" I agree with her, deciding not to keep any bad blood against her anymore.
***
We pass smiles thinking about each other's words until I offer her to come with me to the game. She denied at first knowing Harry will be there but after I insisted her a few more times, she was convinced.
We walk to the soccer ground talking about general things such as our aims, dreams, hobbies etc and we bond up a quite. As we reach the ground I start finding for Rachel and others. I fail to find them as the stands are pretty packed up.
"We should find seats before it all fills up" I look back at Alyssa and find her looking at something with an undefinable emotion in her eyes.
I look at what she's looking and my eyes stop at the sight of Harry. Standing on the field with his team in a circle and was having an eye contact with Alyssa. That sight pinched my heart badly. I exhale looking away for a second trying to recover but again look back at Harry and this time our eyes connect.
I don't know why but I get a little angry and anxious out of nowhere and look at Alyssa who's still looking at Harry. Something happens in that moment. Something very effective and heartbreaking. The way she's looking at him made me realise a few life changing things and mainly about something I was always afraid of.
Afraid of what? Afraid of falling for someone who is already deeply in love with someone else. Afraid of losing someone who isn't even mine. Afraid of seeing him love someone right in front of my eyes. Afraid of completely falling in love with someone I know will never love me back. Afraid of me breaking my own heart by letting me fall in one sided love. Afraid of what's going to happen to me after this heartbreak.
Now at least one thing is clear that I've come across the feeling love in real sense, that I'M IN LOVE.
I'm in love.
And it's beautiful.
But even roses are beautiful.....which come along with thorns.
_____
A/N: Didn't edit. Sorry if there are any grammatical mistakes, errors and typos. Keep commenting and voting guys. Thank you.
