It's Up To You

Epilogue

When I found out what Lauren had done to herself, I was distraught. My marriage to Kristin was weakened because all I thought about was Lauren. I was constantly haunted by her memory, her face was everywhere.

It was a warm summer day when I went to my parent's home. It'd been a few years since Lauren took her own life. The wounds were healed, but they'd never truly stop hurting me.

We all were together by the pool in the backyard. I'd had much to drink, a habit I picked up while mourning Lauren. David and his wife Yvonne sat at the patio table with Kristin and I.

Kristin laughed with Ozzie and Harriet while Ozzie made food on the grill. Standing between her legs as she sat there was my daughter Tracy, her white bucket hat shielding her face from the warm sun. My family was happy, growing and together. My daughter was a beautiful little girl.

"You know, I'm feeling a little sentimental." I told the table, then began standing up. I leaned down so my large figure didn't hit the sun umbrella that shaded the patio table. "I think I'm going to head upstairs."

"Are you sure?" Kristin said with a pout. After Lauren was gone I confided in her all that happened. She thought those stories she read in the papers were fake. She never thought I'd be with a...

"I'm positive. Something is drawing me upstairs." I nodded. Stepping from under that sun umbrella, the sun beat down on my forehead. I walked inside the house through the French doors, finally gaining some relief.

Standing in the living room, I looked around at the house I'd always known as a safe place. I walked out of the door and stood in the doorway. I poked my head into the room to the right, smiling at Ozzie's study. Memories of her came back to me, with a smile, I shook my head.

"We were young and wild, weren't we?" I said to the empty room.

Then, I walked into the foyer. Standing in front of the house steps, I could imagine Lauren standing there with a smile. She was wearing that red dress I always thought was scandalous. The memories were devastating to me already, but something kept drawing me to move forward.

Making it up the stairs, I looked into Ozzie and Harriet's bedroom. A pang of guilt hit me, but it was overcome with bittersweet excitement and tender memories. I smiled as I felt goosebumps forming on my arms.

Walking down the hall, there I stood between the two doors where most of our memories were. Looking into my room, it was left exactly how it was when I moved out. With a smile, I imagined Lauren quickly running out of the bed and into that louvered closet. Most of all, I remembered making love for the first time in that room.

My breath hitched in my throat as I turned around in that hallway. Her bedroom door was shut. For a split moment, I felt as if I opened that door, there she would be. Possibly listening to Elvis Presley or brushing her hair. I bravely opened the door, looking at her bedroom.

I looked around at her bedroom. Her bed was made, she most likely was the last person to make it before she moved. Her vanity didn't have anything on the top of it, all of her perfumes and brushes and nail paints were taken.

However, I remembered from living in the house that she'd left a few belongings. I walked over to her vanity and inside one of the drawers were a few buttons and a ribbon from high school. I picked up the ribbon, on it in gold letters it said was for being the honor roll.

Placing it back in the drawer, I shut it closed. Standing there, I pushed my hands into my pockets. My eyes began to sting as I held back tears.

"She's not coming back." Kristin frowned. I looked to the doorway and there she stood. She stepped inside of the room, but kept her distance from me. "Yes, her furniture is here and a few of her belongings, but that's not going to bring her back."

"I know." I frowned, looking down at my feet.

"Ricky, I love you." She told me. "I'm here, and yet I feel that every day there's some part of you that's chasing a girl who already left you. She was selfish and crazed. From what I understand, she treated you like trash!"

"Don't you dare speak about her like that." I said through gritted teeth. "Don't make me regret ever telling you anything at all."

Kristen sighed and walked over to me, placing her hand on my shoulder and then rubbing down my arm. "You can't spend the rest of your life chasing after a ghost, Rick."

I looked to her. "Let's go."

Placing my arm around my wife, we both walked out of the room. I looked back one more time, and with the closing of the door, I made the attempt to move on.

That was easier said than done. It's safe to say Elvis didn't move on well. I was never a friend of the guy, but I did know he ended up getting married to some girl named Priscilla in '68. Their marriage was riddled with a bunch of problems, I know it's true because I read about it.

Elvis found solace in drug use and alcoholism, which put him in an early grave at 42. It may not have been him mourning Lauren, but in Hollywood I heard he was experiencing a lot of guilt after the way things turned out.

I can't point my finger either. In the 1970s, everyone was trying a bunch of different things. I surrounded myself with a group of people I probably should've have, and I blew my money too. Yes, my family lived comfortably off of reruns, but my bank account surely wasn't as expansive as Priscilla Presley.

In 1985, I found myself doing hard drugs I know I shouldn't have. Kristin only stayed around for the baby, but once Tracy had grown up she up and left me in a divorce. I truly had no one, I found myself relying on a certain white rock.

That plane crashed so suddenly.

In life, I'd worry if I'd see her again. My mind was always filled with memories of her and the possibility we'd once again be together. I must say, although it was sudden, there was a peace within me.

And there she was.