Her Boyfriend, My Husband

CHAPTER 12

Zainab's POV

I left Maryam's house since 5pm but I wasn't headed home. The Sa Lalle wasn't as much a torture as I thought it would be. It was actually fun except for the Maryam freaking out cause Yusuf sent some money to her part.

I'll leave her to handle it, if she doesn't want to accept the money — which I know for sure she wouldn't — then that's that. At least I know I've done my part.

I needed some time out, some space to myself. Usually, on situations like this, I would pamper myself in spas but not this time. This was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I don't even know what it was I was feeling. It's this loneliness merged with worthlessness that made me empty.

I was driving extra slow and even absent mindedly earning me blares from cars and screams from angry drivers. When one of the drivers saw me, I noticed he rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders in a demeaning manner before shouting "Na woman oo" and zooming off.

"Bloody sexist asshole" I didn't even know when I whispered the curse. 

I arrived at Jabi Lake Park by 5:30 and just like always it wasn't as quite as you'd think a park to be. Even though it wasn't as serene as I wanted it to be, I still parked and came out of the car.

I managed to find a deserted place just a few feet before the lake under a tree and between two rocks and sat there. The scenery was beautiful, the blanket of dusk gently covering the light of day and the last bit of the sun's rays peeking from the horizon. I glimpsed a ferry sailing far off in the lake before me and I considered taking a ride too. I had never agreed to ride when Maryam asked. The reason being me not being a fan of large bodies of water. I didn't even know how to swim but I really didn't bordered since I wasn't looking forward to ever finding myself in need of it.

But today, here I was paying for a private ride across the whole width of Jabi Lake on a ferry. At first, I was scared but I soon relaxed when I got used to the rhythm of the rows against the lake's waves.

We got so far from the shores that the only sound I could hear was that of the paddles diving and coming out of the water and man's breathing as he rowed. I closed my eyes and took in a heavy breath. It felt as though I was breathing for the first time, the air was so fresh it awakened every one of my senses.

But still I couldn't escape the troubles that plagued my life. What was I about to do? Isn't this too much of a risk? Handing over the love of my life to someone else? That someone else was Maryam, I consoled myself, my Maryam. There was no one better to entrust my Yusuf to.

If I didn't give him to her, he would give himself to someone else and then there was no assurance of me ever getting him back. He would be gone forever. But with Maryam, I could have him back whenever I was ready. Or rather anytime Mum was ready.

Mum was the whole reason for this. Our relationship had always been strained and I feared when I go against her this time, it would be totally broken, it could never be salvaged. She had claimed to have gone through too much of life to let me marry without being independent. Without seeing me secured and standing on my own two feet. All she's gone through would be a waste if she allowed her daughter a risk of going through the same. 

Mum gave birth to me when she was just seventeen years old. Her mother had died just months after she was born so she had been raised by a negligent father and spiteful step mothers who were more than happy to get rid of her as soon as a man appeared at their door seeking for her hand.

Mum's father wasn't that poor but he was of the "educating the girlchild is a blasphemy" mindset so prior to my birth, she had never been to school. She was given off almost like charity at sixteen to a man more than double her age.