Untitled, 2018

Chapter 48: Not That Simple

Yoongi was all smiles and sugar, and Taehyung rambled on with me about our favorite musical artists. He noticed when I brought up Jimin a couple of times, and when we were all comfortably settled in for the ride, he turned to me to ask, "Hey, what do you think about Jimin?"

I scrunched my eyebrows. "What do I think of him? He's... great? He's my friend. What do you mean?"
He raised an eyebrow. "Well. I just mean, I haven't seen him too happy all year... if anything, I think he's been happier this last month than all year."

"Really...? I didn't know."

My heart lurched when I thought about everything the man went through without telling anyone. His bright image was just that: an image. "Wait... Why has he been happier this month? Is it the award season?" Was it about patching things up with Baek Hee? Was it him finally going out and doing something unrelated to work?

Tae turned and pushed my forehead with his finger. "No. It's you."
Huh? I scoffed. "Um, I didn't do anything."
He snorted sarcastically, "As if..." He looked thoughtful for a moment before glancing at Yoongi, and back at me. "Do you... like him?"

I coughed and looked nervously between the two, Yoongi looking a little more somber now. "I– I don't like– I mean, of course I like him... but not like that."  Taehyung looked at me skeptically. I tried to defend myself. "I mean like it's... ugh."
I got frustrated. "Taehyung, it's not that simple."

"Gross. You sound like Namjoon. What's not that simple? Liking someone?"
I nodded. "You don't understand. You wouldn't understand."
He looked a little tired of my mumbling, but I was being serious. Tae didn't even know about Baek Hee. How would he understand our situation? I just scrunched my nose and hoped he would drop the topic, which he did.

"Anyways, forget that. This weekend we're having lunch at a restaurant, just the squad, to celebrate Jin's birthday early while we can. Award season and tours are restarting so it'll be hectic any other time."
I nodded sympathetically. And then I remembered I'd left my present for Jin in my room instead of bringing it today, and sighed in defeat.
"You should come. I'll message you the details once they're final, how about that?"
My face lit up. "Yes, I should be free this weekend. Besides, I bought him a present already."
Yoongi facepalmed, "I forgot to."
I patted his shoulder reassuringly, "You have till the 4th. I don't see him after Saturday."
We just sat in the quiet for a few minutes. The traffic tonight was rather bad.

Suddenly, Yoongi spoke quietly, "It's not simple. You're right. Relationships are hard in this industry. We've been hurt before. And the more time we spent doing well, the harder it got."
Taehyung scoffed in his seat.

I looked at Yoongi and nodded, understanding what he meant completely. "It's bad if people don't know, it's worse if people do."
He gave a rueful smile. "Some of us have really been hurt before. Only last year Joon..." he sighed and paused. "Some people want the fame, some want the money, some want the power."

Taehyung muttered, "But it doesn't mean you don't try to look for love. We can't be alone forever. We're people too."
Yoongi tsk'd. "Of course not. It just means you have to choose what you want to give up instead. Because you never know what could go wrong."
I nodded in agreement. "It must be really tough."

But then I remembered the fact that these two literally didn't know another member was dating. "Have any of you ever hidden a relationship from other members, too?"
Yoongi and Tae glanced at each other before the former responded. "Not yet."
"Well then, what if someone was hiding their relationship? Would... would you tell management if you found out? Would management allow it to go public?"
Taehyung laughed. "They would never allow it if they could help it. But we wouldn't tell management. They would try and stop it, or threaten contract breach lawsuits. It's no small deal."

I raised my eyebrows skeptically and looked at Taehyung. "So you wouldn't do anything. Even if you disapproved of the relationship?"
Taehyung looked at me, confused, with his eyes trying to communicate something he didn't want to say aloud. Why would I disapprove?
I wanted to yell back, I disapprove! And so should you! But I bit my tongue and played around with the hem of my dress.

"I hope someday you can date and be happy." I remarked.
"That's the day people will care less about us... So I guess, in a way, I hope that day never comes." Yoongi said.
I shook my head. "No. That's the day you'll care less about what people say. And when it comes, you'll be at the top of the game, don't worry."

Yoongi smiled, looking surprised but content. Taehyung rolled his eyes and smiled too. He muttered a small, "I hope you're right."