Untitled, 2018

Chapter 41: Lunch Date

We took a few sips of the soup, which was delicious, by the way.
"You like it?" Jimin smiled.
"Love it. Now tell me!"
Jimin pouted slightly and put his head on the table, clearly looking troubled. I took one of my gloves and put it on his head. "Is it Becky with the good hair?"

He turned his head and smacked his cheek on the table with an affirmative groan. I sighed and shook my head. "What now, Romeo?"
"I think something might be wrong." No duh, she's cheating on you. He would react angrily if I told him, I could feel it.

"Like what?" I asked.
"We haven't met in forever or had a decent conversation, but all of a sudden, she's been blowing up my phone and wanting to meet all the time."
I furrowed my brow, "You're upset she's giving you attention."
He planted his forehead on the table in frustration. "It's just so out of character. Is it an apology? For being so crazy for the last months?"
I thought about it. It was literally only yesterday that she was calling her side guy up, so an apology was probably not what it was, unless it was just that empty. "That's so weird."
He pulled his head up. "So you think it's an apology?"

I deadpanned him. "Absolutely not. Do you have something she wants? A favor? Money?"
Jimin gasped indignantly and sat up. "She's not like that, Riti, don't assume that." I was going to roll my eyes but held back.
"It doesn't have to be her, buddy."
"What do you mean?"
"Call me a skeptic but... what if she's using you to get insider support in the industry? Or, I don't know, her management is trying to get a scandal out of it?"

"Oh my god, forget I asked. You're hopeless." Jimin continued eating with a big pout on his face. "Alright fine. But I still don't think it's an apology. Though... if you know you deserve an apology, why are you with her? Do you like her that much?"
Jimin thought about it. "Well..."
I squinted my eyes at him. "Enough to hide it from the members?"
He nodded slowly.
"Enough to ruin yourself for her?"
His lips went into a tight line and he raised his eyebrows. "That's so dramatic. Are you sure you're not watching too many dramas?"
I shrugged. "You are your reputation to fans. And it's at stake."
"Lots of idols date without getting discovered. What makes me so special?"
I ate some of my noodles.
"You love her?" I asked quietly.
He didn't respond, but looked at me curiously. So I amended my statement. "If not, then, are you unhappy with your life?"
His eyes widened in surprise, "Why would I be..."
"Pressure. No breaks. Stress. It must be tough, even if it's what you've always wanted."

He laughed wistfully and stared at his bowl. "I shouldn't be, should I?"
I shrugged, "Why not? You're allowed to be unhappy and angry if you want. Why hold back? Curse me out if I insult your girl; Curse the world out for making you upset."
He let out a small giggle.
"Alright," He said, sticking his middle finger up at me. I gasped and flipped him off too, mocking his "alright".

"So! Do you have any questions for me?" He asked, feeling a little better.
"Huh?"
"Well now that we know I was always your favorite member, and you seem like the type that's curious about the 'real us' or whatever, I assumed you probably have random questions you've been scared to ask. Cuz I was, you know, mean."
I almost choked on a noodle when I heard him bring up the "favorite" discussion again.
"Oh yeah, I meant to ask. Why am I your favorite?" He continued, seeing me squirm. I smiled back. "Don't ask me that. If you do, I'll lie." He shrugged, looking a little confused.
I tentatively continued, "But, I have always wondered... When did you have your first girlfriend? How many people have you dated before? Are you closer to your family or BTS? Do you actually have a feud with—"
- - - - -
We spent the rest of our meal talking about random stuff in his life I was curious about, including "Is your brother as hot as you?", which got him equal parts embarrassed and amused. When we'd finished I realized we'd been sitting there for a good couple of hours, and I let him know I had to get back to work. He insisted on paying for my lunch, and I finally relented, a little embarrassed.
"What's the use of being a famous idol if I can't pay for lunch?"
"Alright, alright." I waved it off. He offered me a ride back to campus with his manager, and once we got out the car, he even walked me back to my lab.

It was a lazy, cold, and sunny afternoon, and we walked through campus to get to the lab in silence. I listened to the sound of our footsteps, trying to memorize his pace of walking. I was happily skipping a little too. Before we reached the back door, Jimin cleared his throat to speak.

"Tomorrow is our last free day at home other than the award show for a week or so, and we have a photoshoot scheduled for the morning. You wanna come watch?"
I think my eyes became heart shaped because I saw his face widen into a grin. "Can I? Like, am I allowed to?"
"Sure, you can come hang out."
I smiled with excitement. "I'll ask Kang."
"Okay."
He turned around to leave, and I stared at his back. He glanced back and I hurriedly looked away and fumbled with the door handle. Before shutting the door behind me, I saw him turn once more, caught his eye and felt the fluttering energy in me automatically morph into a sweet smile. Almost thought he blushed, but I'm always a little delirious with these things, so never mind. I closed the door quickly and leaned on it, slowly sliding down, trying to pin down my thoughts before they spun out of control.
I like him.
I patted my chest to slow my heart rate down a little. Yeah, you and every other girl in the world, b*tch, take a number.
Right. As a fan. I calmed my heart and walked back to my table. I like him as a fan.