Untitled, 2018

Chapter 34: You're Not Just Anyone

Jimin
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I looked around at the members, a little confused. "What did she say?"
Taehyung laughed at me. "She hugged you— I thought she said she didn't like you."
"Oh that's just because..." she's done it before. I shook my head. "—she's comfortable around me."

"Well she called me adorable. I'm not complaining."
Jungkook added, "oh yeah, what was that about?"

Namjoon laughed, "She said she wanted to be honest as a fan before she could become our friend? I can't believe she said Yoongi's hands." He chuckled to himself.

I crossed my arms and tried not to look too upset. "She didn't say anything about me."
Taehyung smacked my arm. "Stupid. You need to work on your English. Also reading lips."
"What do you mean?"
He rolled his eyes and sat on the floor to stretch with the others. Yoongi joined in soon after and we all started with practice. I kept prodding Taehyung every now and then with "What do you mean? What did she say?" but he kept ignoring me until I gave up and left him alone.
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Practice was grueling, but once we took a break for lunch, in a few minutes I saw a head peek out from the doorway and smiled. She stuck her tongue out at me so I stuck mine out too. But before I could walk up to her, Jin got there and pulled her over to ask her to translate a video he was watching. I quietly joined and stood next to her, lightly elbowing her to get her attention.
The video was some stupid meme that made her laugh really hard, but we didn't get the joke even after she translated.
"Jin, maybe it's because you're old."
His jaw dropped in fake horror and he turned around and yelled at Jungkook. "Are you corrupting her?"

He and Jungkook got into a stupid play fight, and in the meantime I noticed Riti pull out her camera to take a picture of me. I posed and waited, but she just laughed, "It's a video."
"Oh!" I quickly changed my expression to a goofy one and did a little twirl before covering the camera with a laugh.

Yoongi sidled up to us and Riti suddenly asked. "Oh! Right, I'm here because I need to do that interview thing I was talking about before. It's your turn, I think your manager mentioned it. Do you have time?" He thought for a moment.
"Actually, why don't you come back in a couple of days and do it with me when the other producers are in the building? We can do two rounds then, I'll show you the studios."
Her eyes lit up. "Great idea, I'll ask for schedules."
"What interview?" I asked.

"The one for our project. It's pretty much a documentation of the BTS process. Ties in nicely with our research about love, since you guys are so... well, loved. As celebrities though. Interesting perspective, right?"

I thought about it and nodded slowly. She turned her camera back on and panned to Yoongi. "So, how long have you guys been practicing today?"
He pretended to look faint. "I don't know, but I'm so tired."
I laughed at his dramatic acting.
"And have you learned any new choreo, o weary one?"
"Yes but you're gonna have to ask this guy," he responded, coming up to me.
"Ooh, do we get a demonstration?" she chirped.
Yoongi patted my shoulder somberly and went to sit down, so I sighed and responded, "Fine, but you owe me one too."
"One what?"
"Dance! Now watch."

I lifted my arms and did a dramatic spin, holding an imaginary fan in my hand, and did a little bit of a dance as it had been choreographed so far. I looked up to see Riti looking a little mesmerized, and got a little shy.

Her eyes sparkled as she commanded, "More!"
I grinned and tried to remember some more special stage routine parts. When I was done, she followed me with her camera and yelled, "Freestyle!" before humming the beat to an old Bigbang song. So I did just that, laughing along and going through the room, bugging other members with our weird filming routine. But as soon as we got to Jungkook, he danced up to Riti until he was towering over her, and silently asked for the camera. She plopped it in his hands and moved aside, but he pushed her to the front of the camera with his leg.
"Hey!" She said with fake indignation, and I put out my hand for her to grab. I could see her double-guessing, but she took it, and this time I started humming the tune to Dope.

I let go of her hand to face her and do the choreo, and she watched with amusement.
When I stopped and stared at her pointedly, she took a deep breath in and danced to it facing me herself.

DAMN. She's pretty good! I heard some loud cheering from Jungkook and Namjoon close to us and I started grooving while syncing with her. She started having fun with it and raised her eyebrows at me teasingly, and I responded with some coy dancing.
As she finished her bit of the choreo she winked at me before doing a grand bow at the camera, and I just smirked at the boldness of it before taking a bow myself. Crazy girl.

I pretended I was holding a microphone and held it to her face. "You've got moves. How long have you been dancing?"
She struck a pose and flipped her hair. "As long as I've been a fan of my favorite group BTS, of course."
I laughed, "Wait, really?"
She made a face, "No, of course not."
I pouted and looked at the camera.
"—But..." she continued, "it did make me fall in love with it again." She was looking at me shyly as she scratched the back of her neck nervously. So cute, oh my gosh. I couldn't resist— I waddled over to give her a big hug, "That was so wholesome, awww."
She squeaked and pushed me away, "No! Disgusting!"
We both ended up laughing hard at our antics and Jungkook just sighed and handed the camera back to Riti.

In a few minutes when she had to leave, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I was sad to see her go. I thought back to the first few times we'd met and was glad we'd reconciled since. I suddenly felt guilty about having her cover for me as often as she did.

So as she left the practice room from a corner, I followed her into the hallway and tapped her shoulder. Her curls bounced around as she turned, and she smiled when she saw it was me. I took in a deep breath and said, "I'm sorry."
Her eyes widened with concern, but I saw a smile playing at her lips. "Sorry?? For what?"
"For making you do all this for me. Keeping my secret. Having to cover for me."
Her smile fell a little and she looked a little... sad. To my surprise, she lifted one hand to squish my cheek, and perked up a little. "That's cute, that you're so thoughtful. But don't be sorry. I would do this for anyone." I stood still allowing her to pinch my cheek, processing what she'd said.
"Anyone?"
She nodded. I don't know why, but I felt my heart weigh down a little. Wait, why are you sad? I slowly pushed her hand away from my face and tried to smile. "Bye Riti."
For some reason, she looked a little pained too as she responded with a soft "bye".

I shook my head clear before reentering the practice room, and quietly berated myself for having no grip over my thoughts and emotions. Stop being upset. I don't understand why you're upset. I chalked it out to my dissatisfaction with how my relationship was going, and stashed away my muddled emotions by promising myself it would get better.

That evening I almost broke up with Baek Hee right then and there over text when she responded to me rudely, but held my impulse back. Her stress, along with the award show performance stress was really getting to me. And I don't know. Something else was bothering me and I didn't know what. I kept going to my chat with Riti and staring at the meaningless words again and again, replaying today in my head. Something was bothering me, but I'm not sure why.