Jae Ham
Dad jokes. She has a hundred of them in stock. Granted, she's a hardcore ARMY, but how can she remember so many of them?
"What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta."
"How does a train eat? Chew chew."
"What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet."
"I would tell you a joke about construction.. but I'm still working on it."
"What sound does the cow make when it laughs? Moo-ha-ha! What's the color of a burger? Burger-ndy!"
My eyes gaze at Sage, who is on her bed, looking like a blanket burrito . She's wearing a crooked grin, her yellow bangs falling over her brown eyes as she stares at the floor.
"Heart, you need to stop," I say, but she ignores me completely.
"I was gonna make a joke about birds, but it must be illeagle."
"What did a drunk woman say to a man at the bar? Alcohol you later."
"I still need to look for my watch, but I can't find time."
"Hey did you hear about the kidnapping? Don't worry he woke up."
"What does BTS put in their coffee? Some SUGA."
I wash a hand along my face, taking a seat on one edge of her bed, feeling agitated. "I just fed you chicken soup. How are you still not recovering?"
The blanket burrito exhales audibly, another round of dad jokes stumbling out of her mouth.
"Without Yoongi, BTS is Suga-free. I apologize..I'm just kidding. I'm not sorry." She snickers.
"You know, Ham, my jokes are quite.."
I look at her sharply. "Don't do it."
"Lejindary," she says between raspy guffaws, trying to do a windshield laugh.
"Why is BTS so popular now? Maybe it's because they're such a.. big hit."
"What type of noodle would Jungkook be? Maknaeroni."
I fix her with a helpless expression. "Do you want more chicken soup?"
"Yes, please," she says with a yawn.
While I'm pouring more soup into a white bowl, Sage continues her emotional rants, her voice cracking with emotion, her tone impassioned.
"The fact that BTS has better lyrics than 99% of western artists but the world might never know because they chose to believe they're a lovesick manufactured boy band and let language barriers and stereotypes get the best of them, that hurts." I hear her sniffle.
"Do you ever think about how Yoongi said he only wrote the lyrics of seesaw on the same day of the deadline and he had to record it soon after but the song is so damn good? Yeah me too."
"Ever since I knew of BTS, I never had a crush again, outdated of what's happening in the west, fucked up body clock, tries to learn Korean, life became complete."
"Their dimples are so cute.. Jin, Hoseok, and Namjoon.. they all have killer dimples.."
"Puberty did the maknae line so well."
"Whoever said romance is dead hasn't met Kim Namjoon."
"When they were evaluating the song "Tomorrow" written by Suga, Suga's appendiz errupted so he hurriedly came back to Korea from Japan and continued writing its lyrics at the hospital."
