Sage
I open my eyes and see nothing but a blinding white light. The brightness is so fierce, it's damaging my field of vision. I squint my eyes, trying to adjust to my surroundings. The room is completely white, as though I'm in a cloud, but something feels amiss. I don't feel safe at all. If anything, I sense danger approaching.
I try to sit up, but my wrists and ankles are bound by metal chains, trapping me in place. My skin feels like ice, my arms, my legs, my whole body--everything hurts. It feels like I've been running a marathon for more than a decade.
"Test subject is on operating table," says a male voice coming through the only door of the white room. I crane my neck to the left and see a man in a white lab coat, walking towards me. He's also wearing a medical mask, an opaque scrub hairnet and sky blue surgical gloves.
Two seconds later, a woman enters the room,wearing the same outfit. "Is she ready?" she asks the man beside her. They are both standing at the foot of the operating table I'm lying on.
He nods his head at the woman.
"What am I doing here?" I ask, my throat dry and raspy.
The man looks down at me with hollow eyes. "You're different, that's all you need to know."
"How am I different? Isn't that a good thing? It means I'm special and unique,right?" I smile up at both adults in white coats. They exchange strange looks before the woman glances at me.
"You are a rare girl, that's why you're here right now," she says vaguely.
"Where are my parents?" I ask them, my heart pounding inside my chest. I'm struggling here, making a supreme effort to remain calm when all I feel like doing is to force my way out of these chains and break down into pure hysterics. I try again to escape but it's no use.
"Just stay put," says the man, as he prepares an oxygen mask and a container labeled 'Anesthesia.' "This will all be over soon enough. Just cooperate with us, little girl." He inches closer to me with the mask aiming for my face, and I try to avoid it, but he succeeds in clamping the mask over my nose and mouth, tightly pressing it onto my face.
He starts pumping the anesthesia into the tube connected to the mask, weakening all my senses, rendering me powerless.I can feel my eyelids getting heavier, my heart rate slowing down as my nose inhales the chemical, invading my whole system, the gas flowing through my blood line.
"You truly are a fascinating specimen," says the woman as she picks up some instruments off the silver trolley nearby. The last thing I see before I fully lose consciousness is the sight of her holding a knife and scalpel dangerously close to my chest.
"NO!" I scream at the top of my lungs. I jerk up in bed as if it's on fire. My heart is pounding hard and fast against my rib-cage as I look left and right, my chest heaving, my whole face drenched in cold sweat.
"Meow?" "Meow?" "Meow?" "Meow?" "Meow?" "Meow?" "Meow?" "Meow?"
My hands touch every part of my face, my fingers damp with my own perspiration. I sweep my gaze around my duvet with a poster of the B.T.S. members printed on it. My seven cats are draped over the thick blankets like fat, furry stoles of various colors.
"I'm not okay," I wheeze, burying my face into my palms. "I am not okay," I chant as my seven cats scoot closer to me to comfort me. Cat-Yoongi is on my left shoulder while Cat-Taehyung is on my right shoulder. On top of my head is Cat-Jungkook, and on my lap, curled like furry shawls are Cat-Namjoon, Cat-Hoseok, Cat-Seokjin, and Cat-Jimin. They're all purring and nuzzling my B.T.S. logo-patterned flannel pajamas. Even with the AC on, beads of cold sweat are trickling down both my temples.
With shaking fingers, I reach for my green-cased phone under my nest of pillows then frantically dial a number I know by heart. My pulse rate is abnormal, I find it next to impossible to breathe evenly as I press the phone tightly on my right ear. "Hello?" I gasp, swallowing hard. Despite the darkness, I feel a shred of calm because of my cats fawning over me, lending me their therapeutic strength,filling the grave silence with their meows and purring sounds.
"Sage." Giselle Johnson doesn't sound too surprised to hear from me, but why would she, when I've known her for four years? She is one of the very few people who know about my dark past, why I'm here in Los Angeles, why I changed almost everything about myself; my name, my life, even my own appearance. "What happened?" she asks softly.
"I-I had a nightmare," I stammer, clutching the phone tighter. "A-A memory. Why can't I control it? How am I supposed to make it stop?" I squeeze my eyes shut, as if the act will block all the terrible things I'd done, all the horrible events I went through.
"Do you want to see me personally?" she asks, her voice as gentle as ever. My chest still rising and falling, I look up at the clock on the wall. Dawn will break soon. I still have school to attend in a few hours.
"Yes," I whisper. "Yes, please."
Giselle Johnson replies, "Okay. Angel told me your last class usually ends at four? Will you be able to drop by my office around five or six?" Angel is her daughter.
"Will five be alright?" I feel nervous about what may transpire regarding my condition. I can feel my left hand trembling as it caresses Cat-Jimin's coat. The softness and fluffiness reminds me of a smooth carpeted rug. My heart begins to calm down, especially when Cat-Hoseok ducks under my bare arm, his lush fur stroking my skin as he purrs soothingly.
"Of course, Sage." I can hear her smile through my phone. "How are your cats doing, by the way?" she inquires. Instantly, my eyes lower to my lap, my duvet, and then up to my shoulders. "Plump and healthy," I say in what I hope is a chipper tone.
"I'll be in my office until nine, so you don't have to rush," she assures me. "Now, who are you again?" Ever since I was thirteen, she gives me a pep talk whenever I call. "I'm Sage Heart."
"And what are you?" "A beautiful human being." "With what?" "A kind heart." "Your motto is?" "'Live while helping others.'" "Where did you get that motto?" "Kim Seokjin." "And what are the three things you must do every day?" "Keep my chin up,my head held high,and...and..."
"And..?"
"Don't let anyone get too close."
"Because?"
"Of my curse."
"Who and what are you allowed to fall in love with?"
"Food,books,movies,music,places,clothes,and of course,B.T.S."
"Sage, always remember, you can't let anyone develop romantic feelings for you. It will be difficult for that person, especially if you feel the same way. Do you understand?"
"I understand," I say while smiling painfully. "It's not that I need to always remember it.I just can't forget it." Giselle doesn't respond. She tells me to take care of myself before ending the call.
Fire~ Fire~ Fire~ Fire~ When I wake up in my room (Room) nan mwotdo eoptji (Mwotdo eoptji)
Haega jigo nan hu (hu) Biteuldaemyeo geotji da mansinchangiro chwihaesseo chwihaesseo
Mak yokhae gireseo gireseo na masi gatji michinnom gatji da eongmangjinchang livin' like beep
And...there's my 5:00 alarm. I gingerly push aside my seven cats so I can slide out of bed and get ready for my 7am class.
