Sage Heart
I arrive at Johnson Psychological Clinic at 5:50pm.
"Let me guess, something happened at university?"
My gaze falls on Dr. Giselle Johnson's chest for a terse moment. Her heart is glowing faint pink (happiness), deep purple (worry), and simple orange (control). I know she's glad to see me, but I'm also aware that she's concerned about my welfare, as well as in full control of her emotions right now. As expected of a professional psychiatrist. She's 42 but she looks 30, with short pink hair, hazel green eyes, and her daily uniform of a white blouse with rolled up sleeves and black slacks.
"I know that when you make that face, it means you did something against our progress," she says while sitting on a cushioned chair opposite the long pale green sofa I'm familiar with. "Do you mind sharing what happened?"
I keep my eyes on the floor,trying to speak normally as I recall the events from four days ago. "Last Monday, I overheard someone with a financial crisis. She needed dire help from her friends but according to what I gathered, she's in constant debt but she never stops gambling, and her friends didn't have enough cash to solve her problem. Time was ticking and if she didn't pay up at the agreed deadline, she would be beaten half to death, or worse.
Not long after, I felt an urge to help her. So I bought some..well, a lot of tickets at the Lottery Shop. There were many people also purchasing tickets,and when they saw that I bought several, their hearts glowed black, some of them green. I did my best to walk away calmly, at least on the outside, but seeing those black hearts reminded me of the past, and it triggered a part of my face to twitch anxiously."
"I see..is that all?" Dr. Johnson crosses one elegant leg over the other,riveted with my story. "N-no," I answer nervously. "Now we have this art project and I'm partnered with this guy who seems nice enough,but I know I have to keep my distance from everyone. He tried to obtain my contact details but I told him it was unnecessary. He asked if I was upset, and I told him no, that it's not his fault. But he seems genuinely curious about why I was acting strangely."
"Sage." She gives me a stern look. "I know you're aware that your condition will worsen if you contradict your monotonous actions, correct? I believe you know what's right from wrong."
I nod my head. "I'm well aware.. that's why I'm sorry, doc.It's really hard but I'm trying." I close my eyes ,exhale, then open my eyes again. "I really can't control myself when I'm having my episodes." I'm still vengeful, I almost add but don't.
"I think this the perfect time to try a different method," she says.
"A different method?" I echo.
"Yes. Here are two things you need to do. Try to be friends with him, then do the project with him. I believe that can help improve your condition."
"But..! What if I can't do it--"
"Everything will be fine, Sage." Dr. Johnson squeezes my shoulder tenderly.
"Doc..." "No pressure. If you feel like doing it, then go for it. Alright?"
"Does this mean I can give him my number?"
"Baby steps, Sage. You can share your email address. That's a start."
"Okay. Thank you, doc."
Giselle Johnson
"How is she, mom?"
I push aside the green velvet curtains to observe Sage's retreating figure outside. "So far, she's doing well," I inform my daughter over the phone as I gaze out the window. "I let her try to befriend someone in her class, but she's still skeptical whether or not she can pull it off."
"I worry about Sage, mom."
"We all do," I agree somberly. "But she can't know how worried we really are for her. She hates it when the people she cares about drop everything for her. She wants to stand on her own two feet."
"That's impossible, mom," says Angel sullenly. "We have to protect Sage at all costs."
At all costs...So much had already been lost in order to keep Sage Heart safe. Granted, most of it had been accidental. Everything after that tragic night was simply insurance. A purposeful guarantee that Sage stays unharmed. A handful of lives in exchange for millions. It's only a fair trade. The older I get, the more twisted my morals and so-called ethics become. I'm starting to understand why the Ocean eats shipwrecks lured in by enchanting sirens.
As long as Sage is safe, so is the world.
