Somebody To Call Mine (Completed)

KABANATA LIV

Nirecommend na lang niya na it would be best if we occupied the room beside the ICU room. So every night I would stay there—actually Tita and I do. May dalawang kama dun kung saan kami nagpapahinga. Tulad ko, ayaw rin niyang hayaang mag-isa ang bunso niya. Ken's a momma's boy and I know he fancies his mom too well.

Maya-maya ay nagpaalam na rin si Tito. May aasikasuhin pa raw ito sa opisina pero babalik din agad pag natapos na ang meeting niya. Niyakap ako ni Tito bago siya umalis. "I'm glad you're here. He really needs you." Bulong niya.

"I need him too." Sagot ko.

He hugged me some more and I felt like hugging him too. Magkasing-init ang katawan ni Ken at ng Daddy niya. Parang yakap ko na rin si Ken sa bisig ng Daddy niya. Gahd I really miss him.

"He's sleeping too much. Kailan kaya gigising ang bunso ko?" She asked in a shaky voice—shaky but her eyes remains dry.

His mom never cried. Hindi siya umiyak—or hindi ko siya nakitang umiyak. Nanatili siyang matatag and I admire her for that.

"I hope soon, Tita. He needs to wake up soon or else I'll give him a cold shoulder." I tried to joke around but I failed to laugh. Masyado lang mabigat ang lahat.

Tita smiled. "I miss my boy." aniya. I could feel her longing. Nag-abang lang ako ng sasabihin niya. Wala na akong masabi dahil hindi ko alam ang dapat kong sabihin. Guilt is still eating me up.  

"Mahal na mahal ka ng anak ko, Mandy." She sighed. "He almost loses his own sanity when you left and as his mother I hated you for that." She said as a matter of fact.  

Napayuko ako. Palihim akong napakagat labi dahil sa sinabi niya. Naalala ko ang eksena kung saan nakita kong umiiyak sa ulanan si Ken. I made a fool out of him.

"I hated myself, Tita. I hated myself for inflicting him that kind of pain. I really regret that day." Punong-puno ng pagsisisi ang boses ko.Ito ang unang beses na inopen up sakin ni Tita ang pakiramdam niya sa ginawa ko noon.

I can't blame her for feeling that way. Ina siya at ayaw ng isang ina na nakikitang nasasaktan ang anak niya. I hurt his son and it's normal for her to hate me.

"But as much as I want to hate you dear..." I looked up. Nakatitig siya sakin habang hawak ang mga kamay ko. "...my son loves you so much." She smiled that made my eyes misty up like a little kid. I rested my head on her shoulder. Naramdaman ko ang pagyapos niya sa ulo ko.

"Ssshh don't cry dear." I let out a soft sob.

"I-I'm sorry." Yun lang ang kaya kong sabihin ng mga oras na yun. I can't reason out things 'coz I know no matter what happen I'm still at fault for making hasty decisions about my life—our relationship.

"Itong batang 'to. I'm not here to reprimand you about that but I want you to know na lahat ng mahal ng anak ko, maha ko rin at nasasaktan akong makitang nagkakasakitan kayong dalawa."

Napakagat ako ng labit at nagpigil sa pag-iyak.

"Pero pakiusap ko sana pag gising niya ay hwag mo ng siyang iiwan. I'm dying when my children are hurt. Doble ang sakit na nararamdaman ko." Pakiusap nito.

I looked up and saw Tita's pleading stares. Tinitigan ako ni Tita. Napabuntong hininga ako bago niyakag ang mga kamay niya. Hindi naman kaila na maluwag akong tinanggap ng pamilya nila kaya nahihiya ako sa nangyari kay Ken dahil sakin.