Lauren Jauregui imagines

Addiction

(A/n: Hey guys. This chapter is pretty deep, quite the polar opposite to the cute, fluff I normally write. I'm not too sure what inspired me to write this chapter. WARNING: this chapter does talk about drug addiction and death)

Your P.O.V
The star softball player was who you were known as but to me you were the love of my life. I was always told stories about you whenever I came over for dinner. From a young age you were confident and always got what you wanted. You knew you were beautiful but you were also laced with insecurities, and you still needed that reassurance so I was there to give it to you.

I remember the first dinner I had with you and your family. I rang your doorbell and you greeted me with a quick kiss and a longing hug. You grabbed my hand like you didn't have a care in the world, walked right up to your family and introduced me as your girlfriend. That was the night you came out. You were so proud to call me yours and I adored you for that. The confidence you showed was something I really admired.

It was the start of high school when we first crossed paths. Some boy was teasing me about my glasses saying that they were ugly and calling me four eyes...until you intervened. You told me you thought they made me look cute, then you gave the boy one of your famous death stares.

I was the shy, easily intimated, nerdy girl and you were the confident, popular, sexy girl with the "I don't give a fuck" attitude. We were polar opposites, but we attracted like two magnets.

It was easy for us, we came from different backgrounds and home lives but we made it work. I managed to breakdown your walls and I discovered that underneath that sassy, confident attitude there was a giant heart with a lot of love just for me, but no one else could know that.

You were very protective, which I loved. If someone tripped me down the hall you were always there to catch me and trip them right back. I loved that about you...you showed me nothing but love, even when things got bad I still saw the affection briefly in your eyes. The way they sparkled after I complemented you on something small or after a passionate make out session the look in your eyes was always evident.

The summer of 2012 is when things started to shift. We were 16 at the time, at the typical teenage stage, where experimenting with different things was natural and everyone around you were doing it as well so there was no harm right?

Wrong.

Weed was the beginning of it all. We started to go to parties as the schools "it" couple, everyone either wanted to be us or on top of us. I mean who could blame them though, you were quite a hottie and I wasn't too bad myself.

So we went to these parties once a month. They were innocent to begin with, until it all changed. Attending a monthly party turned into a weekly thing, smoking the ocassional joint turned into doing a line everyday in the bathroom.

I remember very clearly that one Saturday night at the party in the mansion. I hadn't seen you in two hours. I walked around asking every one of our friends if they had seen you. Normani? Nope. Dinah? Nope. Ally? Nope. Camila? Nope. I was worried sick.

While doing the second round of checking bedrooms something caught my attention. There was a light sound of whimpering I heard just as I was about to shut the door, it was coming from inside the room. I walked in to the room to search for where it came from, when I heard the noise again and quickly realised it was a faint sobbing coming from inside the closet. I opened the door to find you in there, huddled on top of pile of clothes. You were hysterically crying, because you thought the furniture was out to get you.

I calmed you down, enough to get you from the closet upstairs, to my car downstairs, so I could take us home. The next day we dismissed it and just laughed it off. The fact that you thought the room was going to swallow you whole was very funny. To us in the moment

That was the last time we laughed at one of your trips.

Those innocent trips had gone. They quickly turned into ones where you would try to gauge your own eyes out and curl up in the corner of the kitchen stopping me from getting close to you as if I was your worst nightmare.

After that you hardly laughed. I barely saw that contagious smile of yours and that sparkle in your eyes went dim. The bright green colour in your eyes was dimmed and replaced by being bloodshot, it was like someone blew out all the candles that were lighting up the room.

You started spending less time with me and the ones you used to care the most about. When you were with us no one knew which Lauren we'd get. We'd either get the over tired, grumpy Lauren, which was bearable...or the "I hate everyone" Lauren, which wasn't the most pleasant.

The Lauren who once never knew what hatred was, turned into a Lauren who only knew hatred. We all tried to help, believe me we did, but you were too cold. It was like someone had turned out all your lights...but I knew there was still someone home.

The worst feeling is putting someone who you care so much about, and love immensely, into a facility and have them hate you for it. I had loved you for 8 years, I had done it with the best intentions, I was ready to love you for a lifetime. You meant the world to me and all I wanted to do was help.

The first week or so you didn't want to see anyone, but we were all told it was to protect you; and us, from your withdrawls symptoms so I guess it was for the best. After the second week you seemed to be doing well. I was allowed to see you, you looked tired, like you were ready to give up...but I wasn't, I was far from ready to give up, we had only just started trying.

When you saw me you embraced me in one of your bone crushing hugs and it was like you didn't want to let go because you thought you might lose me if you did. But you never would, I promised you that all the time.

I made a stupid joke just to see that smile on your face, it made it feel like everything was going to be okay. For a while I thought it was, I thought everything was going to be fine...who was I kidding though?

The last six months of rehab were tough, not only for you but for me as well. Physically and mentally we were both exhausted, but it was time for you to come home. I brought you home to our shared apartment, made you your favourite meal and for the first time in a long time we ate a meal together. We cuddled on the sofa while watching The Notebook, sharing innocent kisses and sweet compliments. I cracked a few lame jokes, which was totally worth it, because I got to see that beautiful smile on your beautiful face.

This how it was for the next few months, it felt natural and I was prepared to take the next step in our relationship. I was ready to spend the rest of my life with you...so, I asked you to marry me. You said yes, and made me the happiest woman alive.

Seven months into your recovery news broke out that your mum was sick and it was terminal. In all my years with you I had never seen you so broken, but I wasn't prepared to give up on you just yet, if not ever. I loved you. I was willing to fight for your happiness...for our happiness.

Unfortunately love wasn't enough.

Narrators P.O.V
Y/n took a breath she didn't realise she was holding before she continued. "I know that you probably can't hear a word I'm saying but I hope that you know, I'll never stop loving you." Y/n finished as she stepped down from the podium as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

It was the first time in a long time she realised that Lauren was gone but this time she wasn't coming back. Lauren was gone forever. Y/n realised she'd never see the raven haired emerald eyed beauty ever again, never see that contagious smile on her face, never hear that raspy laugh leave her lips.

Y/n placed a single red rose on the top of Lauren's coffin, along with the letter she read as she finally let her body give in to the fact she'd never see her best friend, girlfriend or soulmate ever again.

Because the addiction took her.

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A/n: Hi guys, I'm pretty sure you didn't like that chapter, it was very sad. I hope this chapter wasn't too emotional, if it was then just read one of my previous chapters, they're a lot less sad. Please tell me what you thought of it, since it's pretty much my first time writing a chapter with a not so happy ending. I'm not going to ask the 'question of the chapter' for this chapter. Anyway, thank you for reading, I really appreciate it!

Ok byeeee - A.A 🌹✨