Chasing Smoke

Chapter 5: The Smiths

After yesterday crazy tantrum, Jason took me home. He was angry at Dad because he was so sure that Dad caused my tantrum. Jason decided to sleep in home last night just to take extra watch over me. I'm 28 years old and I'm still being a burden for my brother. He has a wife and child on the way, yet he has to take care his crazy twin sister.

Jack and Jeremy were sleeping in my room tonight. When we were a child, four of us used to build a tent in the garden at the back of the house and spent the night together. Jack and Jeremy would snatch all snacks from the kitchen cabinet, Jason would prepare the blankets and pillows and the emergency light, and I would sit and relax watching my brothers did all the work. I wanted to help but they never let me. They always said a princess should never do a work. At first I always protested then I got tired and just agreed. But, for me, I never want to be a princess. I always want to be a warrior like Mulan. She is a princess but a badass warrior. But, who am I kidding right? I can't barely fight myself, let alone fight the Huns or other evil army.

Back to the camp story. On special occasions, Mom would join us in the tent. She would tell us stories or simply read us the tale from the book. I'd fall asleep wrapping my arm on hers while hearing her deep somber voice. Sometimes Dad joined us too. Six of us inside the tent. It was one of my precious memory and I'm glad I never forget it.

Jeremy wakes me up. Say that I need to prepare for the lunch today. Apparently, everyone already prepare themselves. Jason already went back home before breakfast. Jeremy said he was anxious because he left Sarah alone at home. Well, not alone actually because there is housekeeper, but you get my point.

"Is everyone coming?" I ask Jeremy. My head slightly hurts.

"Yes. You, Dad, Anna, Jack, Jason, and me. You're not alone sis." Jeremy strokes my hair. 

"And I, not me."

Jeremy rolls his eyes but holds himself from saying something snarky. 

"Come on, get up. Go to shower. Be pretty. Let's meet the Smith. Hey it's rhyme." Jeremy laughs himself. He thinks he is hilarious. Well, he is the hilarious one out of four.

I get up from the bed, finally. Take a shower. Nothing better than cold water rinsing through your body to rinse off the negative thoughts. I wrap myself in the towel while staring inside the cabinet. Thinking whether should I take the pills. I guess I need one to embrace the day. Besides, I don't need another devil whispers on my ears. Not today at least.

I choose to wear my flare jeans and my blue-orange-broken white mickey mouse sweater Dad bought me from Tokyo Disneyland. Can't argue with his statement yesterday, that he knows better. This sweater will be perfect will my blue-washed authentic Vans sneakers. 

I take one last look at my brown hair and tuck it behind my ears. Okay, I'm ready.

Everyone is already in the car. I enter from the left side. I always sit on the left and Jack will sit on the middle between Jeremy and I.

When we were a little, Jack and Jeremy would be in the backseat, Jason and I in the middle seat, Dad behind the wheels, and Mom sat next to him. After they split up, Jason moved to the front seat, and so Jack and Jeremy moved to middle.

The ride is nice. The radio is playing 60s tracks. Jack and Jeremy are bickering about something at work. I rest my head on the window and close my eyes.

The conversation with Dad yesterday and the day before is playing in my head. You probably already think my Dad is a terrible human being and sometimes I think that too, but trust me he isn't. He's a nice man and a family guy. I always believe that whatever he does, he does it for the family even though he did it with some extent measure.

We arrive at Dad's country club. One of his favorite place. I bet the Smiths boss is one of the member in here. Anna looks beautiful with her peach sundress. Jack and Jeremy look good too in their tees and jeans. Dad, well, he dressed as he's going to golf. Well, maybe they're going to golfing.

When I was a child, Dad used to take me here. I played as his assistant and helped him set up the golf clubs and the balls. I was six years old when Dad taught me how to swing the club and hit the ball. Dad and I were close. He wasn't some asshole businessman like he is right now, he was a loving and devoting father. But, all of that changed since that happened. Jason always told me Dad being who he is right now because of his guilt toward me. And I always told Jason that was a bullshit. If you feel guilty toward someone, then you should right your wrong. 

I know some things are better left unspoken, but some things aren't.

"Seriously Jenna, a sweater? It's hundred degrees, couldn't you go with simple t-shirt?" Jack complains my outfit.

"Shut up."

The Smiths arrive exactly as we arrive. Dad always says that on-time is one of key to success. I guess that applies outside of the business meeting too. Wait, it is a business meeting. A casual lunch-business-meeting.

"Where's Jason?" I look around and don't see my twin brother and his wife.

"He'll probably be here in a minute. Off we go." Dad pats my back.

The Smiths. Great looking family. The father is handsome, the mother is beautiful, thus the son is a pretty boy. Only Alexander the eldest one present. Tall guy, 6'-ish. Gorgeous dark brown hair matches his dark brown eyes. He smells good. Looking good too with plain black tees and dark blue Levi's 501 jeans. He wears one of Onitsuka kicks. I love those shoes.

Benjamin apologizes for the absence of his youngest son, saying he's in some meeting. Then it occurs to me, which one Dad chose for me. Is it Alexander? So, there's no need for the other one to show up?

We eat lunch together like we all are already a family. Jack and Jeremy are bickering at each other about something. Jason and Sarah arrive exactly 15 minutes after our arrival. Dad is conversing with Ben Smith and Anna is chit-chatting with Meredith Smith. That would leave me with Alex in silence. He says nothing throughout this ridiculous lunch. I take a glance at him; he eats his sandwich in silence and great mood judging by his face.

Dad and Ben seem never run out topic to discuss, the same goes for Anna and Meredith. My idiot little brothers are off somewhere. I already finished my meal, so did Alex.

"Alex, will you be a darling and take Jenna to walk?" Meredith smiles at me.

"Sure, Mom." Alex gives her right hand, asking me to reach his hand.

I get up from the chair ignoring his hand. Well, this is gonna be super awkward.