chapter 13

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Oma's stomach was flat enough to go unnoticed. Deep down, she feared the truth had escaped somehow. Everyone suddenly cared, trying to know everything about her and her hospital story.

As the lesson wore on before her, Oma paid no attention. Her mind wandered, thoughts of how to approach Dan in her mind. They still weren't on talking terms. She wondered how he would react to the news. Would he soften ? Would he call her a liar and deny it ? She was scared to meet him. If only the pregnancy could just disappear. She had tried starving herself, limiting her diet to pepper and other things the internet had told her would kill the baby.

She was done stalling, she had to tell him that day. She knew where he always studied alone. A place so hidden, she never knew about it till she met him.

She was moving. Her whole mind screamed to stop, but she couldn't. She didn't make herself pregnant.

She saw him, the outline of his head. Her legs buckled, threatening to Give out under her. She took a deep breath, trying to summon courage to see his face, but the fear of what would happen after made her choke audibly.

He spun around to see who had invaded his privacy and his eyes narrowed when he saw her. For more than three days, she'd gone through everything she would say, but when she saw him again, so hostile and rogue, the words strayed far from her mouth.

They stayed mute for three seconds. She looked silly, crouching with one hand on her throat, another on her knee and her mouth slightly open. He watched, clearly annoyed and impatient as if wondering how long she would embarrass herself while wasting his time.

" What do you want ? " He asked suddenly. There was no softness to his voice. Her fears increased. He was going to deny it. He was already tired of her. This wasn't how she'd planned it out to be.

But how could he be so apathetic. She'd been in the hospital for almost two weeks and he hadn't come to see her or speak to her. And now he was asking what she wanted. She knew he got cold before and during exams but not this cold.
Unless... He'd heard.

She could have said anything. A "we need to talk " just like she'd practiced countless times.

" I'm pregnant " She said it so calmly, like a whisper, it was almost like she said her name. His expression changed from impatience to shock. He moved his hand slowly without breaking eye contact, from the locust chopped chair he was sitting on to his face, as if he wasn't sure what to do with it.

" You. . . You just want to talk to me, don't you ? It's not possible. We used. . . You used..." He started, uncertain, as if he only sort to assure himself.

His discomfort gave her courage. She entered the tight store room completely and sat on a pile of dust covered books and used clothes, unconsciously exaggerating her movements to look more like a pregnant womans'.

" I'm pregnant, and you're responsible. " She looked him in the eye without fear this time. Daring him to deny it. Daring him to breathe.

His hands vibrated, the way they did when he got angry. He looked everywhere but at her, surely wondering how he got himself into this mess. His eyes were glazed, but he still managed to keep his cool.

" What are you going to do about it ? " He said seriously, finally turning to look at her. It was a look of sly disgust. The kind you'd give to dirty child.

Her courage thinned down to nothingness. This was his way of removing himself from it. She would carry the baby alone, under the scrutiny of everyone. She would be that girl that had a bastard child and had to quit school to raise it. She would never finish but have to raise the child on her own. She knew Nia would send her away when the pregnancy would become conspicuous and she would end up being the woman she'd once mocked. He'd finish school and get married to some ambitious virgin girl while she'd be left to hustle in the wild with his bastard child. If only women didn't have to carry their pregnancy alone.

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