Too Good to Be Real

chapter 2

Pathetic.

That was the best word to describe Oma. She wasn't smart, or pretty or fun to be with. She could have tried, you know, but as charity begins at home, so also does self destruction begin from the self.

She never tried to incline herself to read. It was just sooooo hard. Seeing her results at the end of each term never bothered her. At least she wasn't so bad she had to repeat any class. She didn't believe she was pretty. She was exceptionally dark. Like the photos they always use to portray the poorest and most interior Africans, and as childish as people of her age could be, they mocked her and called her names like charcoal and burnt food for being the darkest in the school.

For this reason, she had no friends. The other 'lower' classmates who were also being bullied for one reason or the other didn't necessarily associate with her because everyone wanted a higher spot on the popularity pyramid and apparently, being friends with other lower classmates would reduce their chances of going up.

Being in a boarding school only made matters worse. Only the Juniors who were friendly with the seniors weren't stressed by them. The others had to do all their work. And Oma was among the others. They only used for entertainment. Each time she passed by a group of people, the subject would somehow immediately turn to blackness.

Each night, she'd cry herself to sleep. If only she could be like Nneoma. Nneoma wasn't pretty. She had bald hair, mismatched skin and a nose that stretched across her face. But she was extremely intelligent and had a sharp mouth. From answering questions in class to scoring the highest in exams, no one even remembered she wasn't pretty. The ones that did regretted it quickly enough. One girl had told her she looked like a gorilla and she'd said, "I might look like a gorilla, but at least I don't have the brain of a gorilla, unlike you. Between both of us, I'm not the one wasting my parents' money here by hosting a beauty pageant."
That had shut the girl up for good.

But Oma couldn't be like Nneoma. She wasn't outspoken. She couldn't stand confrontation. She'd passed out once when she was asked a question in class. Yes. That's how bad she was.

Besides being ebony black, Oma was bony. From trying not to gain weight, she'd become malnourished. At thirteen, she could pass for an unhealthy eight year old.
She went to boarding school. It was easier and more convenient. Her mother Nia was rarely home and she needed to "learn to live away from home" according to her mother.

At home, it wasn't any easier. The few times her mother was around, she was either resting or planning the next big thing for her business. Every other thing was a distraction she couldn't afford. That had rubbed off the wrong way because Oma slowly grew distant from her day after day. She couldn't even hold a proper discussion with her mother much less tell her her problems at school. Most times Nia would be so tired or busy to even look at Oma's report cards, so she didn't really know she wasn't doing well at school either, but she did notice Oma was losing weight.

"...What is doing you? Other people when they enter puberty they start adding body and getting shape but you're just trying to lie to the whole world that I don't feed you enough..."

She hated it when her mother said this and Nia always did. Sometimes Oma hated her mother.
Some other times she didn't. They laughed, they gisted. But those times only came once in a while whenever Nia did well in her business or just felt like it. Other times, she just became gloomy and annoying and poured her irritation on her daughter.

Oma wanted to be many things but she could only live those things out in her head. She prayed each night for God to make her beautiful, more outspoken but it was like her prayers were never answered.

Oma grew depressed. She had no friends. The only family she had was her mother but she wasn't always there. Physically and emotionally.

So she learned to adapt.

She learned to enjoy her own company. She learned to be her only friend.

Hopefully one day her prayers would be answered.

One day...