Dark Fall

Chapter 18 - Religion

"Look around Will, do you really believe that when there is so much suffering in the world? So where is this God?"

Will shook his head. "I sure don't have the answers. It takes a degree of faith, something in short supply. I have come to believe some things just by observation. Mankind was given freewill to make their own choices, including the freedom to screw everything up, and if God does anything at all to fix our screw-ups, it is not necessarily on our schedule or in the way we want."

Terra huffed. "Well, we sure have screwed things up. So how do you even know this loving God exists? Or, for that matter, if there is some sort of paradise after we die?"

"Anything less is unacceptable."

Terra lifted her eyebrows. "Will, are you dictating the nature of God?"

"Yeah, I guess I am. For Ell and my parents, I demand that." Will turned his head away, staring down the road. "Look, I'm still trying to figure this all out. It helped me cope. There is a worship gathering tomorrow morning. Come see for yourself."

The conversation ended, and they drove on in awkward quiet. Terra gazed out the window, watching the scenery flicker by.

After several minutes, she turned again to Will. "I need to ask, how did you and Ginny know my name and that I am an agent?"

"That is something I cannot tell you now."

Anger flared up within Terra like a fanned fire, and she raised her voice. "This is important, Will! If there is a security breach, I and others could be in danger."

Will firmed his jaw. "Then I tell you this. There is no security breach."

Terra frowned at his evasion but did not pursue the subject further. What is he keeping from me?

The next morning, Will knocked on Terra's door to offer breakfast, cooking sausage links, and serving them with dark bread, raspberry jam, apple slices, and tea.

Terra thanked him then asked with a grin, "But no pancakes?"

Will grinned in return. "I am afraid of commitments."

Terra reluctantly agreed to go with Will to the church gathering. Held in what looked like a vacant store near the market area, rows of wooden benches faced a podium. The place teemed with people, most conversing in small groups, and had a warm, homey ambiance. Liz caught Terra's eye with a wave, coming over with two children in tow, each with the same strawberry blonde hair as their mother. Terra recognized the youngest, who attended the same classroom as Benjamin.

Liz embraced her. "Welcome Terra. I am glad you are here." She motioned to the children standing with her. "These are my kiddos, Paul and Bree. My husband is around here somewhere."

At the appointed time, the people moved to the benches and took their seats. Will and Terra sat next to Liz and her family. An enormous man with a dark, full beard and hairy arms, who looked like he could wrestle a bear and win, stepped up to the podium and identified himself as Pastor Joseph. If not for his welcoming smile and friendly eyes, he would have been terrifying.

Joseph began with a prayer. Feeling awkward, Terra mimicked the actions of those seated around her so as not to stand out. A couple of songs came next, where everyone sang along.

Pastor Joseph approached the podium again to give a lecture. He offered readings from a religious text — something about the "Fruit of the Spirit" which he defined as "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control". He then commented at length on the meaning of the passage, contrasting it against the ways of the world, then ending with a challenge, "Fruit reveals the tree like deeds reveal our heart. What do your deeds reveal of you?"

His words convicted Terra. She held her breath as bitter guilt flooded her soul. I have killed so many. What does that reveal of my heart?

After the service, Will weaved through the crowd with Terra, introducing her to Pastor Joseph. Joseph grasped Terra's extended hand, burying it within both of his massive hands. "Terra, this is indeed a pleasure. I have heard of the wonderful deeds you have done in the short time you have been here."

Terra looked down, unable to hold his eyes. "My heart is not so pure."

Joseph put his hand gently on Terra's shoulder. "No human heart is pure, but God offers forgiveness and redemption. You have already showed a goodness within you. I would argue that is a gift of the Spirit."

Her lower lip trembled. "This all seems appealing, but if there is a loving God, what would he want from someone like me?"

"Terra, each person takes their own spiritual journey and God calls to you wherever you may be. Even if you do not believe, listen for the Spirit and let it guide you. You are capable of great things."