The Flaw in your Heart

44. Can't be Arsed with Exams

Chapter 44

Tessa’s POV

I reluctantly got out of bed on the first morning of school after the holidays and sighed. The holidays always go too fast. Christmas and New Year had been amazing, and Louis and Christina had come over to give me my presents too. I’d received a Grumpy Cat jumper from Christina and a pair of new headphones from Louis. I was still not over getting my very own kitten, and Holly was settling in extremely well. We’d bought her a little blue collar with an engraved tag. Dan had spoilt her so much and she even had her own box in the lounge full of cat toys.

It was also now extremely close to my surgery. It was twelve days away. I was absolutely scared shitless. I’d had a couple of appointments at the hospital during the holidays, and I still had my pre-op to go to. Then the surgery would be just hours away. Dan was pretty nervous too, he kept asking me how I felt and I could sense his anxiety. I felt such a burden to him.

Towards the end of the holidays I’d had to buckle down and really revise for my GCSE mocks. My first two were today, Biology and then English Lit and Language. As usual I felt as if I hadn’t revised enough, and because I’d missed so much of school I’d missed a lot of lessons and learning time. Dan had told me to just do my best, it didn’t matter, but I desperately didn’t want to let him down.

“Hey Dan”, I said in a monotone voice as I met him in the kitchen.

“Hey Tess, don’t stress about today”, he said, passing me a plate of toast.

“I’ll try not to”, I said quietly.

Holly had followed me in from my room and I smiled as she tried to climb onto my foot. I put my toast down, taking her to her food bowl and she began tucking into her breakfast eagerly. I returned to my own food, not-so-eagerly eating the rest of my toast. Once I’d shoved the godforsaken tablets down my throat, I went to get ready for the day.

I left my room not too long later dressed in my ironed uniform, bag dragging on the floor, with a scowl on my face. I was not in the mood for going back to school, let alone having to get through two exams on the same day. 

When we pulled up outside the gates I leaned over and hugged Dan and he squeezed me tightly. 

“They’re just mocks Tess. Don’t stress you’re gonna do wicked”

“Thanks Dan”, I smiled, getting out of the car. I waved goodbye as he drove off and envied him. He was down at the studio recording today, I’d do anything to be with him than in an exam.

“Hey Lou”, I smiled, as I caught up with him by the hall.

“Hi Tess, you ready for the exams?” he asked.

“Nope”, I said. 

“Me neither”, he said worriedly.

The bell rang and I quickly got out my clear pencil case full of my equipment, and dumped my bag down beside Louis’. I spied Christina further down the corridor and quickly waved to her. She smiled, waving back but looked stressed.

We all filed into the hall and I found my name on a table at the end of the room and I quickly sat down, taking deep breaths as I watched everyone else finding their exam tables. The Biology paper was handed out and I nervously wrote my name on the front, smiling to myself as I wrote ‘Smith’ and not ‘Wilson’. 

“You will have one hour to complete this paper”, the examiner spoke loudly at the front. “It will end at 10:10am”

I took a deep breath, watching the clock. 

“You may begin”, she said, as the clock hand reached ten past nine. 

I opened up the paper and picked up my pen. Well, here goes nothing, I thought.

***

When at last it was the end of the day I rushed through the busy corridors, concentrating on not fainting and also trying to avoid the bitchy girls. I got out of the school grounds and felt relieved to see Dan’s car parked up on the other side of the road. Quickly crossing it, I hopped in and rested my head on the dashboard, exhausted.

“How were the exams?” Dan asked.

“Terrible”, I said. “I’ve failed”

“Don’t say that”, he said comfortingly. “I’m sure you’ve done well”

“I still have loads to get through. I’m going to do really badly”, I said.

“Look, stop being a pessimist. You’re going to do brilliantly in them all”, Dan said.

“You can’t talk – you’re the biggest pessimist out there!” I laughed.

“Shut up.” He smiled. “Now stop stressing and just relax. You’re going to do fine”

We set off for home and I slumped into my seat, bracing myself for another full evening of revision.