Problems of an Invisible Girl

Chapter 14

"Wait a minute! What about your family? Didn't they notice that you were gone?" Rina asked sure that even her family, which rarely paid attention to her, would surely notice if she was gone for a year. She could sense Serene's hesitation and realized that it was probably a very personal question to ask. After all, they had known each other for less than an hour and there she was asking questions that people usually don't talk about until they are friends. Before she had a chance to apologize, Serena started talking. "Well, I was actually in foster care all my life so there isn't really anyone out there who would care one way or the other. Children who are in foster care often run away and I don't think they care. It makes it that much easier for them. Besides, I turned eighteen, so I guess they thought I was old enough to be on my own. As for my biological parents, I have never met them. No one knows what happened. Some nurses found me in front of a hospital, and I was put in foster care without any background information about my parents. Once the invisibility kicked in I had no one to ask for help, so I spent some time squatting in different buildings and from time to time I felt like I was going crazy. I am so happy to know that I am not insane." She said speaking very quickly as if she was trying to let everything out in one breath. "I am sorry, I am rambling but it has been such a long time since I spoke to another human being."

"Don't worry about it, it's fine. Although I am mostly visible, I still know how it feels to be invisible. My family and friends ignore me so often that I started to wonder if something was wrong with me, that maybe, the way I was behaving and thinking was wrong. For a few years, I tried to be more like them so that they would accept me. Instead of saying my own opinions and expressing my individuality, I started imitating them in the hope of them accepting me. But honestly, it was so painful to be someone other than me. My brothers never accepted me, even when I tried to be more like them. That was when I realized that the problem was not me, it was them. They were refusing to consider another person's point of view and try to understand the other person, even if that person was their own sister. So I decided to stop sacrificing my happiness, my truth for them to love me. I started being myself in the hopes that if they can't understand me they could at least accept me, but I was wrong. They found all my hobbies and interests strange and wrong. All my opinions and beliefs were considered naive, and they mocked me for having them. Finally, I stopped trying and for the last few years, I was invisible to other people even before it started physically happening. My point is, that I understand how you feel and as you can see we do have something else in common. I also speak a lot when I am nervous." She said wondering why she had opened up to a complete stranger. But she didn't feel like Serena was a stranger it felt like she was her family, the sister she never had.

"I am sorry," Serena said and there was another long silence between them. After a while, Serena couldn't help but ask: "But how do you do it? How do you turn visible again?" There was a hopeful tone in her voice that she couldn't actually hide. She was hoping that she could be visible once again. No matter how difficult her life was and how bad the foster care turned out for her, she still wanted to be able to communicate with people. After all, humans, well most humans are social animals, and we crave for other human's company. Sometimes it's good to go outside of your own head and see the world through another person's eyes. "Well, I am not exactly sure." Rina hesitated, not sure how exactly to answer. "It's like I use all the positive emotions and memories that I have to outweigh the feeling that I usually have that no one knows I exist. I embrace that feeling and try to focus on it as much as possible. It's like I relax and focus. By focusing I manage to temporarily lock up all my negative feelings and to just bask in the good memories. I remember moments with my dad when he was still with us, and the gentle smile of my great grandma and suddenly I am back." While saying that, she didn't even notice that she was focusing so much that she turned back visible. "Maybe we should go somewhere else I don't want to get caught." She told Serena.

They went to the only private place Rina could think of, the library. She knew the library like the back of her hand and was aware of a hidden spot that no one visited and was always abandoned. When they arrived there, Rina sat down having no idea where Serena was. "Are you still here? " She asked. "Yeah, I was just thinking." was the immediate response. "Can you teach me how to become visible again? I am guessing it is possible since you can do it, but would you mind helping me go through it myself. " She asked hesitantly. It was logical for her to hesitate because even before she turned invisible she was in a similar situation that Rina described the only real difference being that she was with different foster families and no one ever gave her the attention she craved. "Sure," was Rina's immediate response "but I can't guarantee that it will work. I only started figuring it out recently and sometimes it takes a lot of time while other times it seems much easier. " She explained. Serena just nodded her head, and they set out to figure it out.