Before I Go ✔️

Chapter 27 | Before I Am His

His hand reaches under my shirt and I feel his thumb caress the skin underneath. My body is feeling all sorts of things I've never experienced before. It's telling me to keep letting him do what he wants to me but it also has self respect.

I couldn't let him take advantage of me.

His head lowers and I watch him lift my shirt up exposing my stomach his green eyes look up at me and I instantly turn to mush. A smirk forms on his lips and he gently kisses me his tongue trailing across my skin. I cover my mouth with my hands so I don't let out a sound when I feel him bite the skin.

So all this time? This is what I've been missing?

I can see why people enjoy this so much now.

I'm breathing a lot more and I haven't done much. Gavin inches closer to my face again and I gulp. "Your mine now."

I'm mush again and I honestly don't mind.

Gavin lays beside me and I fix my shirt before I sit up. "You really want to try this?" I say hoping he does otherwise I'd be a complete idiot right now.

Gavin leans up on his elbow and nods his head. "Yeah, I mean you want to right?"

I nod my head at him and we both smile. I lean into him and he puts his hand to my cheek brushing the hair away from my face I put my hand against his and feel the rough edges to his scabbed knuckles. Who was this guy?

A beautiful storm waiting for me to be his disaster?

"What are thinking about?" He asks me.

"Nothing." I say shyly putting my head to his chest. We both lay like this for a while until I decide I should tell Gavin the whole story. I start off by telling him what I have exactly and how I learned I got cancer. I don't mention the surgery I have in a couple of weeks because this is all happening too fast I should wait until I'm sure I have a donor.

"Does it hurt?" He says.

I shrug. "Sometimes, on my bad days I can't be touched because it'll hurt and other times I'm just really exhausted."

"Have I ever hurt you?"

"Only once, you grabbed my wrist really tightly but after that your touch didn't seem to affect me anymore." I see relief wash over Gavin.

"Good, because I don't think I could ever not touch you." He kisses my cheek. "Do you want me to?"

"Do I want you to touch me?" I asked.

"Yeah otherwise I won't, I know I can be a little intense I guess." His words would normally make me nervous but I feel like I've opened up to Gavin now that I shouldn't be afraid.

"No it's okay you can touch me." I decide I can't help but smile at him and how he asked me if it was okay? I have a feeling he doesn't ask many girls what he can and can't do too often. I shake away the thoughts that are now entering my head.

"This means you won't be seeing Georgia anymore right?" I ask remembering her text from this morning.

Gavin nods his head at me. "I already ended things with her."

Well that was fast. I hear someone's knock on my door and before I even get the chance to react it swings up and Gavin and I instantly sit up.

"Gavin?" My mom says.

"Hey Mrs Wood." Gavin waves at her but she frowns at the both of us.

"Keep this door open please." My mom replies crossing her arms over her chest. She was still mad at me? And really the door has to be closed has she forgotten she leaves me alone with him all the time? She turns her heel and walks out.

"She's just angry about last night." I get up and realize I've spent most of my day with Gavin today like I have been for the past month and a half now. It seems like it's been much longer than that with everything that's happened.

Next Friday was already Halloween and the last big game. "Your football game is next week and if I can't make it you won't be mad at me right?" I tie my hair back.

Gavin looks at me and laughs. "Of course I'll be sad." He puts his hand to his heart and now he's just mocking me. He stands up and walks over to me. "No I won't be mad."

"Okay, are you excited y'know for the chance to get the football scholarship?" I've never really asked him about it before and maybe I shouldn't because Zach can also get it.

"Sure it'd be great but I don't know if college is for me."

"Well what if you did get it? Would you go to college then?" I say.

"I still have until the end of the year to decide what I want to do."

I understand where he's coming from I have a feeling college wasn't for me either. I didn't want to be stuck inside a house all my life and if I still have cancer then I won't be able to go to college I'd have to stay doing online college.

I was getting desperate now I needed to find a donor.