Damaged || Cody Simpson

29

Cody Simpson.

Multiple thoughts ran through my fluctuated mind as I wandered up and down Steve's front garden, not quite ready to press the doorbell. I keep wanting to go to her door, to apologize to her in person. To tell her that I am truly sorry and that I really do love her.

This wasn't meant to happen. All I wanted to do was talk to the girl, to make a friend that I could walk home with on the way home from school. But the second she looked up at me, her bright eyes meeting mine, I knew something in me had changed.

I kept trying to tell myself that nothing was going to happen between us, that a girl like her would never fall for a guy like me. In a way, I hoped that would be true. If it was, I wouldn't be feeling sick to my stomach with guilt, the way I do now.

Every time I shut my eyes, I see the way her eyes widened when she turned to face me in the rain, Ryan's arm falling from her back when I begged for her to stay. And still, she left me. Maybe she doesn't love me, the way I love her.

My problem is that I care too much, even when I told myself I didn't.

The sound of Steve's front door opening snapped me out of my darker thoughts, causing me to throw my head over to where he's standing. At first, he didn't notice me, but I stepped a little closer, and then he did.

He stopped, a confused look upon his face when he leaned against his door frame. "I didn't expect to see you today." He ruffled his hair.

"Sorry, I just need twenty more, then I'll be on my way." I placed my hand in my pocket, pulling out a twenty dollar bill.

He took the money out of my hand and placed it in his shirt pocket. "You look sick, are you okay?" He asked, sounding generally concerned. I nodded it off, like it was nothing.

He left me standing in his garden for a moment as he disappeared inside his house, minutes later coming back holding a packet of cigarettes. "Take it easy on this packet." He chuckled, handing it to me.

"Thanks." I said again, placing them inside my back pocket and stepping out of the garden, making my way back down the street. I felt Steve watching me as I walked, but I ignored it as I put in my earphones and wished the world away.

"Cody, is that you?" My dad called from the kitchen when I stepped inside, slamming the door shut behind me. Something smelled nicer than usual, something that signalled my dads cooking, rather than my moms.

"Yeah." I sighed, throwing my keys on the counter beside me. "Who else would it be?"

"Um, your mom." He chuckled, peeking his head around the corner of the door. "She's gone grocery shopping. When she gets back we're going to have lunch together, as a family."

My eyebrows furrowed as I followed him into the kitchen. "As a family?" I repeated him. He nodded. "Last time we had lunch as a family was when gran died."

"I know that, Cody." He pushed his fingers through his hair before picking up the wooden spoon, stirring whatever is in the pan. "That's wrong, we can't just have a lunch whenever a relative dies, or somebody is giving birth. We need to make this a normal thing. And since we're always away on business meetings, we want to make it up to you, by spending more time with you."

The door suddenly slammed again, my moms voice booming from the hallway. "I'm home!"

"Ah, just in time." He chuckled when she walked into the kitchen, holding grocery bags in both arms. She set them on the counter, smiling at us both. "I was just telling Cody about spending more time together, as a family."

"Oh right. It's a pretty good idea. Don't you think?" She happily asked as she put them away. "We were even thinking, you could invite your girlfriend."