Vorfreude

Chapter 9

Looking around my room, I can't really think of anything else I would need to pack before going on this two month long book tour partially because everything I owe is already packed and partially because I don't really know what is necessary to bring.

Clothing wise though, I think I've packed my entire closet.

I have five suit cases full of crap and I know down deep in my heart, I won't even touch at least three of them. I'm the person who could be staying one night at a friends house but brings an entire weeks worth of clothes just in case something were to happen or I don't like the initial outfit I picked.

Sue me.

As I sit cross-legged on my bed, I sigh. I leave in 15 minutes and Ant still isn't home.

Ever since Andy announced my departure just 48 hours ago and given whatever else was bothering Ant at that time, he's been MIA, which sucks, might I add. He claims he's stuck at work and "doubles are the blue balls of his sleep schedule," but I've lived with Anthony for four years now and this has never been a problem. He's had the same job with the same company that is super flexible with their employees leaving at any given time as long as they make up their hours elsewhere in the week. Not once has he ever had to work a double. His office job always made my retail job look like complete poop. However, retail is complete poop so I never argued my despair.

I wish I could figure out what's going on in my best friends mind. It's evident that somethings happened but he's not wanting me to find out about it. I know when he's lying to me and he's definitely been hiding the truth.

Ever since I decided I wanted to be a writer, Ant and I have had these plans where if I ever got this opportunity, he'd take leave or quit any job he had on spot just so he could travel the world with me. Those plans were still in effect up until the night of my congratulations party. He hasn't mentioned it since so I can only assume he decided he was only joking this whole time.

To think something's happened that is so drastic that he's shutting me off and placing me in the dark is heartbreaking, however I feel like if it's something not so serious but serious to him, he is only trying to shelter me it's because I have this great opportunity ahead of me and he doesn't want to drag me down into a road of darkness. I would conquer darkness for him though. That's what friends do. They don't do whatever this shit is we're doing.

My phone dings and completely dawns me out of my thoughts.

We're heading that way. Be ready.

It's a text from Andy. He's definitely not the person I wanted to see pop up on my screen.

Speaking of people popping up on my screen, I scroll through my unread notifications and notice Harry liked my recent tweet.

"It's crazy just how fast the night changes."

I'm not going to lie. I purposely tweeted that last night to see if he'd notice it, but I haven't thought to get back on twitter since then. He never replied to my DM the other day and curiosity got the best of me while I've been alone in my thoughts. I was one second away from embarrassing myself further by sending him an apology message, but then I thought why should I?

Harry was a one "tweet" wonder and for my future fame, I don't want to have that hanging over my head. I especially don't need my writer mind creating fantasies that he'd ever fall in love with me.

The door to my room suddenly flies open and scares the living heck out of me. Ant looks down at me with his eyebrows in frustration.

"Don't fucking do that," I breathe, clutching my chest. Looks like I've got my cardio in for the day.