Vorfreude

Chapter 4

1 month ago...

My book released 6 hours ago. 

Legit 6 fucking hours ago and you know what? It's only sold 342 copies worldwide. I mean, yeah that's good I guess, but I was hoping for more. Honestly, that sounds conceited, but do you blame me? I worked so hard on it and have one of the best publishers behind me, so it's no surprise that I'm a little gloom about the lack of publicity. I haven't even seen Powell's promote it on their social media yet. 

"We could take copies to everyone's doorsteps," Ant says, tossing a tennis ball into the air as he lays back on his bed. I sit adjacent on the floor with my laptop atop my knees. I keep refreshing Barnes & Nobles website awaiting reviews. Criticism is what I need. It would help me decipher if this is a total waste of my life. 

"I'm not about to be that author," I state, clicking over to Amazon. 

Amazon is better. I have 26 reviews and all but one are nice. Each one comments on how they love the format and theme of my book, but the one mean comment calls me an illiterate millennial that should never consider writing as a job. 

Dickhead. 

"Why not?" Ant asks, "we could force them into giving us money and not telling them you're the author so that we wouldn't get in trouble for soliciting." 

I roll my eyes and squint at the screen. I have one new comment. 

Awesome book is all it says. 

 Fuck you and your awesome comment. 

"Come on Kat," Ant says, jumping off the bed and sitting down on the floor with me. "Stop looking at comments and let's celebrate." I don't look at him. I'm not partying and I've already told him that. 

Ant reaches over and closes my laptop screen. I let out an angered sigh. "You promised me you would celebrate after it got published yet here we are and you still won't go out with me." 

My fingers find my hair and I run them through my auburn locks. 

"No," is all I say, getting up and heading to the living room. I refuse to be involved in such behavior. I want a fancy dinner with the people I love or possibly just a movie night eating junk food. It may be published but it isn't doing shit. 

"Kat," he says, following behind me. "You do realize if your book picks up, you're gonna have to learn how to party." 

I start laughing and turn to him. 

"What part of no don't you understand??" 

He crosses his arms and a smile creeps onto his lips. 

"Fine, be that way. If you won't go to the party, the party shall come to you." 

My eyes grow huge and I instantly start begging him not to. He can't be serious. 

"Kat, you know I'm shit with secrets, but fuck it. Erin has a fucking celebratory party planned for you in which she'll skype with us so it's like she's here. If I don't get you there at 7:30 tonight, she'll have my balls." 

I try to hide the excitement from my face but fail. My hands cover my mouth and I feel like I could cry. She knew exactly how I wanted to celebrate aside from the fact that she won't be here. 

"I really fucking love you guys," I say, walking towards him. He chuckles and pulls me into him. 

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, so you'll go?" 

I nod my head and pull back. 

"I guess," I state sarcastically and flip my hair. "Since I'm the guest of honor and all."