Vorfreude

Chapter 7

"Well," Andy starts, leaning back into the bed. "Maybe you should message him a thank you."

My eyes leave my screen long enough to give him a daring expression. "Yes because he's definitely going to see it and be giddy due to the amount of fame he's caused me." 

I didn't mean to sound so bitchy in that moment, but something has hit me. Maybe I'm not talented enough to make it on my own. If Harry wouldn't have tweeted about my book, it could barely be hitting a thousand sales right now. 

"Come on Kat, you have nothing to lose," Ant says, shifting and getting up from my bed. "He's already made you famous. Make the most out of it. The least you could do is give some sort of thanks in return." 

Andy begins getting out of the bed too and gathers his belongings. 

"He's right. He did this," he says. I feel some sort of disappointment ping in my chest. Apparently it expresses across my face as well because Andy also adds, "I mean you did this, but he made it all public."

I nod my head accepting the fact of my "fame" and look back at my phone. They're right. Harry did make this a huge sensation. I should send him a little thank you even though the chances of him seeing it are close to none. 

"I'm making breakfast. Do you want some?" Anthony asks Andy as they both walk out of my room leaving me alone in my thoughts. 

"What are you making?"

Their conversation begins to muffle as I sink into my own world. I click message on his profile and my fingers dance over the screen thinking of how or what to say to thank my idol. Is there even an acceptable message I could send?

"Hiiii :) I know there's not really a proper thank you, but thank you, Harold."

I press send without dwelling too much, but then notice I said Harold and not Harry. 

Fuck my life. 

I don't know him formally enough to say Harold. I'm not even sure he likes being referenced to as Harold. It's just a fandom thing and now I feel like a child. I had one chance. This is the exact reason I didn't want to send him a message in the first place. 

UGH. 

oh well. 

I decide not to let it get the best of me. Like I said, what is even the chance of him seeing it? 

I let out a small laugh to myself because this is silly. I'm getting worked up over nothing. To ease my mind I start going through the rest of my social media accounts. Turns out Instagram and Facebook verified me as well. That's a milestone I never thought I'd cross. I wonder if my mom has noticed.

I should call my parents. 

I look at the clock on my wall and it's only 9:16am. Odds are they're probably still asleep because they typically don't stay out as late as they did last night. Hell, I don't even stay out as late as we did last night. 

I look at a couple features on the new verified profiles and turn off a lot of the notifications. Only people I follow can now pop up as a notification. I want to interact with all these people, but I think I should wait a while. My mind still isn't functioning which reminds me I need coffee and a lot of it. I set my phone down on the end of my bed and pull the comforter over the pillows. This is the best it's going to get made today. 

I need pants. Where are my pants? I was in a dress last night, wasn't I? That explains the lack of a bra this morning. 

The last thing I recall is telling Ant just how itchy the glitter on it was. Where even is that dress? My scan my room but see nothing but mess. I really need to clean up in here. I'm kind of embarrassed my manager just saw the pigsty that I call my room let alone the rest of our apartment. Ant and I haven't had time to clean recently and to be honest, I could care less. I'm normally super persistent about keeping a clean place considering my mother wasn't one to keep things spotless, but it slips my mind with all that's going on. 

I've been writing a lot lately when I return home from meetings. I took a leave from my part time job at the paper for two weeks to get the finalization of my book done, yet they still send me tons of papers to edit. I haven't even looked at one of them. My boss makes it seem like I owe my life to her, but she has yet to congratulate me on my publication. If I never go back there, it wouldn't phase me. 

My eyes flick up to the mirror on my wall and I cringe. I need a shower and I need it badly. 

I grab a clean set of clothes from my dresser and waste no time in refreshing my appearance. Once again I'm ashamed of how I just looked in front of Andy. I guess it didn't bother him too much. He should know I was "partying" last night. I can't believe it took me all of these years just to let go and have a good time. Maybe I should've listened to Ant a long time ago. 

"Kat, breakfast!" Ant yells once I step out of the warm steam. I quickly dry the water off my skin and slide on my underwear and lace bra. I need to do laundry too, it appears. I don't even wear lace specifically since I haven't had anyone to wear them for after Jonah and I broke up. 

My body shutters at the thought of him. It wasn't so long ago I felt confident enough to prance around him in just this exact outfit. 

"Kat," Ants voice says behind me without warning. I jump and quickly try to find the nearest thing to cover myself with. I look at him wide eyed and worried. His eyes are on my body and my self consciousness sets in. "Jesus," he breaths in, taking a step forward. I instantly take a step back. 

What the fuck is happening?

He instantly notices my rejection and reaches to scratch his neck. "Did-d you hear me?" he stutters. "Breakfast is ready." 

"I'm coming," I reply still on alarm. He looks me down once more before turning on his heel and walking out of the bathroom. "Phrasing," he says before completely exiting. It takes me a whole minute to come to acceptance that my best friend literally just commented on my body in a sexual manner. At least with his little side comment I know it means nothing, but still what has gotten into him? 

I pull on a university sweatshirt over my head and a pair of leggings. I might as well be the basic white girl I am if I'm going to have a lazy day. I look in the mirror and say fuck it. I'm not even going to do my eyebrows. Why should I?

I walk out of the bathroom and drop my towel in the hamper.

Just kidding, yes I am. 

Two minutes later I emerge once again but with a full set of brows. I don't know what it is but I feel so bare without my eyebrows. 

My phone dings about six times before it catches my attention. I thought I turned off my notifications.  

I sit down on my bed and look at the screen. Everything's kind of blurry. I reach for my glasses and find it amazing that I haven't needed them before now. I am blind and when I say I'm blind I mean I one eye exam alway from applying to be legally blind. 

I look at my screen once more and see everything clear and in focus. 

Much better. 

Twitter: harrystyles: no problem, love :) 

Twitter: harrystyles: wait that sounds bizarre. 

Twitter: harrystyles: I meant no problem, beautiful. 

Twitter: harrystyles: how are you? I see you've sold many copies. 

Twitter: harrystyles: I know great literature when I see it and I have to admit, I'm a huge fan. 

Wait, WHAT?

_____

Ehhh why not do two updates in one nights. 

I have nothing more to add. 

Goodnight cruizers :)

-kat