Unpredictable Match 2

Seventeen

Tyler❤️: did i do something wrong u could tell me if i did ill fix it come on call me please at least text me back jus so i kno u ok

Tyler❤️: goodmorning u still ignoring a nigga gaddamn :(

I pull down my notifications tab and Tyler in fact did call my phone multiple times for the last two or so days. I didn't notice because I was so occupied with other things. There were times I'd turn my phone off, while my kids were home and safe of course. He probably called me then.

Me: Good morning Ty, I would never ever ignore you on purpose. I haven't even checked for messages from you and I missed when you called. I'm sorry for making you feel like you did something wrong. You didn't do anything wrong. I miss you a lot.

He doesn't respond fast enough so I'm going to take that hot shower I was talking about and then wake Aj up for school.

In the bathroom, I set the shower water to steaming hot and then step in. I stand under the running water and if I had been hoping for instant relief, I would have been let down. But I know better, the hot water can't instantly cure my aching body. And whatever can, I don't have time for.

I close my eyes only for a second for a small moment of relaxation and then get to business. I scrub with body wash and then rinse my external body multiple times, and then I take care of my internal hygiene which became a necessity many many many years ago.

After I wash my body, I squeeze a substantial amount of two in one shampoo and conditioner in my hand and massage it through my scalp. I scratch at my head with the mixture for a little while and then tilt my head back under the water so that I can rinse it off.

As my hair is under the water, i finger comb it for a thorough rinse but I notice that something doesn't feel right. I bring my hands down from my head and look at them. Multiple loose stands of hair are entangled between my fingers.

"Oh my god," I gasp. For confirmation, to make sure my eyes aren't deceiving me, I run my hands through my hair again and even more hair comes out. "oh my goodness." I rinse the rest of the shampoo and conditioner out then turn off the shower water. I step out, I pick the hair stands from my fingers and throw it in the trash. I comb my fingers through my hair once again and a few more strands come out. I know it's normal to shed hair. But I never shed this much hair.

I look in the mirror and closely examine my head. There's some parts of my hair that is thinner than usual, and I know this could not have happened overnight. I clean the hair off my fingers once again and dry myself off with a towel as I suppress the emotion I'm feeling that is so close to being an outburst of tears. It's just hair. I need to keep reminding myself. It's just hair. It can grow back.

But, I don't know why my hair is falling out. I don't dye my hair much and the last time that I did was probably a year and some change ago. Ive never had any problems. I don't use any product except for the same shampoo and conditioner that I've been using for years. I'm  going to dry it and hopefully there are no bald patches.

Back in my room after I moisturize my body and apply deodorant, I search for something casual to wear. I settle on stretchy black jeans and a burgundy turtleneck sweater. Since it's a little cold outside according to the weather app I also put on my black moccasins.

I touch my hair and it air dried a little bit but I'm going to use my hairdryer to dry it some more. I plug it in and put it on the medium heat setting and it takes me less than ten minutes to dry my whole head. Taking a closer look in the mirror now, I see that my hair is in fact thinner in some areas towards the middle and the sides.