*Sequel to Weed...a character study*
A/N I don't condone drug use, this is purely for the story. Please don't do drugs
He did it again.
In his defense he was super stressed out. He hadn't exactly been doing anything right lately, and he just needed some relief. He knew Shiro would kill him when he found but Keith didn't really care about that at the moment. Shiro could fuck off.
Keith took a long drag of his joint, reveling in the feeling of being high. It was almost like all of his problems, his frustrations, his anger, all of it, didn't exist. Whenever Keith got high, he was free. Free to do whatever he wanted.
Who ever he wanted.
Keith took another long drag before shuffling up and scrambling for his phone. Opening it, he scrolled through his contacts until he found Lance's number.
Lance.
Keith took another sigh.
Keith was in love with Lance.
Boom. Bomb dropped.
Keith had come to terms with the fact that he wasn't actually straight a very long time. He remembered when he first came out to his foster parents. Shiro and Adam accepted instantly, of course because they're gay too.
But Shiro was very...protective.
Last time he found out that Keith was smoking he got so pissed. Keith was grounded for the better part of a year. But Keith refused to let even Shiro take away his high. He deserved this. After everything he's gone through, Keith feels as though he's allowed to let loose and have fun every now then.
The first time it had happened Keith had accidentally called Lance, his crush, to come over. They ended up hooking up and when Keith realized what he did he was instantly horrified.
He had sex with Lance!
What if this ruined their friendship? What if they never spoke again? Did Lance hate him? Obviously not, since Keith rammed him into a mattress. But does Lance like him? No, that's not possible. Why would someone as incredible as Lance like someone like Keith?
So to keep from anything bad from happening, Keith decided to pretend it never happened. He avoided Lance at school, didn't answer his texts or calls. Treated Lance like he wasn't there. Keith was pretty sure he was doing a good job of avoiding him until he got high and hooked up with Lance again.
Ever since then it's become a habit to sleep with Lance whenever he got high.
He always thought Lance was fine with the whole 'arrangement'. After all, he'd never said anything against it.
So that's why it was really surprising to see the cuts on his arms.
"Lance..." Keith whispered softly, staring at the angry red lines criss-crossed across Lance's beautiful tan arms. "Why would you..."
"I wish you wouldn't." Lance said. Keith's heart broke slightly at how sad Lance sounded. But that heartbreak was soon replaced with fury. How dare he? How dare he hurt himself?
"Wouldn't what? Lance what's going on? Why are you hurting yourself?" Keith cried.
"Pretend to care." Lance answered. That stopped me short. What did he mean, 'pretend to care'? Didn't Lance know how much Keith cared for him? Did he think he'd just call anyone?
"What are you talking about 'pretend to care'?" Keith said sharply. "Of course I care!"
Lance took a deep breath, almost like he was trying to collect himself from a storm that was about to come.
"Why do you only call me when you're high?"
"I...I.." Keith fumbled, trying to come up with words. "Did you...are you not....did you not want to be with me?"
Lance sighed loudly, bringing his cut arms to his face, dragging his hands down. "Of course I want to be with you, idiot! I fucking love you!"
Keith's brain went blank for a few seconds as he tried to comprehend what Lance just said.
"Lance I--"
"But it fucking hurts!" Lance's voice broke at the end. "It fucking hurts to be in love with someone who sees you as nothing better than a fuck buddy!!"
"Lance I don't--"
"And Hunk has been trying to help me--"
"Hunk?!" Keith cut in, a strange amount of jealousy sweeping through Keith. The thought of someone else touching Lance made Keith feel sick. "What do you mean?"
"He's been trying me to end this...this..thing we have," Lance yelled, making large hand gestures. Keith felt his heart prick. So Lance really hadn't been happy. "Because what we're doing? It's toxic."
Toxic.
That word sounded bitter.
"Lance I'm--"
"And even though I love every second with you," Lance continued, pulling at his hair. "It fucking sucks! We have fun, we fool around, we feel good, and then you just brush me off?! Not cool! It makes me feels fucking used! But I keep coming back because I'm in love with you!!!"
Keith felt like everything in his world was crashing down. All of this was his fault. If Keith hadn't been so damn selfish and treated Lance so badly none of this would have ever happened. It's no wonder Lance feels like this. Keith basically made him into an object!
"Lance I'm so--"
"It's fine, Keith," Lance said sadly. "It's okay. Let's just...let's just stop this. Okay? You don't like me, I'm being used, this whole thing is just a bad idea. I think...I think it'd be best if we stopped seeing each other."
Lance turned to leave and in that moment Keith realized he had a choice. He could watch as Lance left his life forever because he's a damn coward, or he could seize the opportunity to make everything right.
Keith grabbed Lance's wrist and pulled him back, lightly kissing Lance on the lips. It was a soft and gentle kiss, and Keith was trying to pour all his emotions into that kiss. Keith pulled away and leaned his forehead against Lance's.
Lance frowned. "Keith please...we can't do this anymore."
"I don't want to stop," Keith panted. Lance scowled and tried to pull away but Keith's grip tightened. "Listen to me Lance. I'm stupid."
"I know," Lance scoffed.
"Lance," Keith said. "I'm dumb because I made you think that you weren't important to me. I made you feel like an object. That is my fault, this-" Keith gestured to the cuts on Lance's wrist. "-is my fault. All because I wasn't brave enough to ask you out like everyone else does."
"Keith what do you--"
"Lance I'm in love with you." Keith said. Lance's jaw dropped in shock. "I've been in love with you since the seventh grade."
"Keith you...you mean that?" Lance asked, and Keith hated how doubtful he sounded. Why couldn't he just accept that he was loved.
Oh, that's right, cause Keith is a dumbass.
"Of course I do, Lancey," Keith smiled as he pecked Lance once, twice, three times on the lips. "I love you."
"I..I love you too." Lance mumbled.
"So...where do we go from here?" Keith asked. "I don't know what to do..."
Lance chuckled. "I think this is where we decide what we are."
"We're boyfriends." Keith said quickly. "If that's what you want..."
"Keith," Lance laughed. "Of course I'll be your boyfriend....Just one condition."
"Yeah?"
"No more weed."
"Then no more self-harm."
"Deal."
