Hunk was in shock. He couldn't feel his arms or legs. He didn't remember if he was standing or sitting. What had Shiro been saying? Hunk couldn't process anything. The only thing he could remember was Lance. Lance's heartbreak. Lance's scars. Lance's cuts.
Lance was hurting and Hunk never noticed. What kind of friend whas he? Hunk thought back to all the times Lance had comforted Hunk when his anxiety became too much to handle alone. All the times he had found Hunk stress baking at one in the morning and forced him to sleep. That same boy was cutting himself. How could Hunk not notice? He was a awful. He didn't deserve Lance.
"--unk? Hunk? HUNK!" Hunk snapped his head up and looked at Shiro. His expression was pained and he was fighting the urge to cry. "Hunk this is important. What do you know about this?"
"Nothing," Hunk said with a defeated sigh. "He never told me about this. I didn't know anything about this. I had no idea..."
"It's okay," Shiro sighed and raked his hand through his hair tuft. The party was still in full swing, the party-goers oblivious to the scene that had just occurred. "Alright, we need to find Lance. We have to make sure he doesn't do anything that we'll all regret."
The team nodded and split up. Hunk raced to the hangar. Hunk may not have known about Lance's depression but he did know his best friend. He knew exactly where Lance would be. He ran to the Blue lion and lightly knocked on the mouth. Hunk heard sniffles and shuffling from inside Blue.
"Lance?" Hunk called quietly. "Lance I know you're in there. Please, open up."
The mouth to the lion parted. Hunk sighed and entered gratefully. He was greeted with a sad sight. Lance was sitting in the piloting chair, his face red and blotchy, tear streaks stained on his cheeks. He had his arms wrapped around himself, as if to hold himself together. Hunk could barely make out light red spots on his jacket sleeve. Hunk sighed sadly.
"Lance can I see?" he asked. Lance stiffened and shook his head. "Please. I won't be mad. I just need to make sure you didn't cut a major artery."
Lance reltened and shoved his arm out, turning his face so that he wouldn't have to watch Hunk. Hunk shakily pulled up his sleeve. The alien did a good job healing them, the cuts on his arms were now small and scabbed over. But that didn't make the scars go away. Hunk sucked in a sharp breath at the words carved into Lance's skin. He lightly traced one of them. "Lance..." he then turned his attention to the newer ones. They were still bleeding. Lance probably made them after he had run away from the paladins. They weren't deep, more like scratches. Hunk pulled out the first aid kit and wrapped Lance's arms gently.
When he had finished Hunk sat back on his bottom and stared at Lance, waiting, praying for the buy to say something. "I'm sorry." Lance said finally.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Hunk asked, controlling his wavering voice.
"It wasn't necessary," Lance shrugged. "What would I say, 'Hunk I'm depressed, can you help me get better?'?" Lance laughed.
"Yes!" Hunk cried. "That's exactly what you should've done. All you had to do was ask for help. I would've helped you!"
"And add more stress to your plate?" Lance scoffed. "No, it's not that big of a deal. You're dealing with so much right now Hunk, my problems are nothing compared to yours." Hunk frowned as Lance explained himself. None of that was true.
"Lance never doubt your importance," Hunk said. "I wish you came to me. I would've done everything to help you. I love you so much! Please. Don't do this to yourself."
"I...can't promise you that," Lance said. Hunk swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. "I try to stop...I do. But it's so hard." Lance's voice broke and Hunk could feel the tears forming in his eyes. "I want to stop. I don't want to feel this way anymore. I just want to be happy. But everytime I stop I get this itch. It itches so bad and the only way it goes away is if I cut myself again. It's not normal. I'm too broken. It's too late to change now."
"Lance...we can fix this." Hunk argued. Lance shook his head sadly.
"You can't fix what's broken. You have to replace it." Huk gasped at what Lance was implying. "Go. Find a better paladin. Someone who deserves to be here. Not the depressed piece of shit that I am. Please. I just want you to be happy."
"I am happy," Hunk cried. "I'm happy with you! I'm happy to help you! To pick up your broken pieces and super glue them back together!"
"I can't let you do that, Hunk," Lance said, a sob escaping him. "What kind of friend would I be, to let you cut yourself on my broken pieces?"
"Lance, please," Hunk begged. "Let us help you. We love you so much!"
"I am beyond help."
"NO!" Hunk screamed. The anger and heartbreak was too much now. He was losing his best friend. He was losing his family. Hunk couldn't help the memories that rushed through him. Lance, three years old, blowing out his candles with Hunk right next to him. Lance pushing away a bully tormenting Hunk on his size. Lance sneaking out to get Hunk a birthday present. Lance, sneaking out of the garrison with Hunk and Pidge for an adventure. Lance, fighting with Keith only to risk his life for him minutes later. Lance, the selfless paladin.
Lance, the broken paladin.
"NO!!!!" Hunk screamed again, tears sliding down his face. Hunk clutched Lance like a lifeline. There was no way in hell he was losing Lance. Nothing was going to seperate the dynamic duo, not even Lance. "Lance I refuse! I refuse to accept this! I am helping you and that's final!"
Hunk knew what it was like to lose someone he cared about. He knew what it was like to watch them wither away and turn to despair and self-loathing. He knew all too well. He watched his grandmother died, his only living relative after his mother died in a car wreck and his sister killed herself after the divorce of her husband. He was not losing someone else.
Lance was a smiling beacon. He was a light at the end of this dark tunnel. If that light went out all hope would be lost. Lance was, is, the best person Hunk had ever met. Lance had comforted Hunk through the death of his family. It was Lance who wiped the tears of his face. It was Lance who calmed Hunk down after a panic attack. It was always Lance who was hurting the most. And it was Hunk, who was never there for Lance. But not this time. No, this time, Hunk would save his best friend.
Hunk hugged Lance tighter, ignoring the squeak from the boy as he crushed his insides. Lance smelled of coconuts and papayas. He still had the tropical scent to him all the way in space. Lance smelled of home. Lance was Hunk's sunshine in the darkest days. Hunk would perish if his sun exploded.
Hunk was sobbing against Lance's shoulder. He pressed a wet kiss to Lance's forehead, promising Lance he'd always be there. Because nothing was taking away his sunshine. Hunk needed to be his light. Hunk needed to be his confidant. Hunk needed to be his parabatai. (Shadowhunters Bitch!!) Hunk would be damned if he let anything hurt Lance.
Slowly time passed. After what felt like hours, but was only a minute or so, Hunk let go of Lance. Lance's shirt was now stained with salt and damp, it stuck to Lance's shoulder. Surprisingly, Lance was crying too. Lance's face was dripping with tears and snot.
"H-H-H-Hunk," Lance gasped out. "I..I..w-w-wanna...get..better!!" He sobbed. Hunk smiled and more tears escaped his eyes. Hunk grasped the boys hand and smiled.
"Okay.." he said, his voice cracking. "We're going to get through this. Together."
Lance nodded and crushed Hunk into a hug.
"Together." Lance agreed.
So this story is sort of a vent and it's based off a very close friend of mine, (u know who u r) so yeah. I hope you all know that no matte how depressed you are there will always be someone who will miss you. Please. Suicide is never the answer. If you are depressed or suicidal seek out. Because you are loved and special. The world is a better place with you in it!
Suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255
