The paladins had arrived on a planet to try and recruit them for the alliance. Lance was following closely behind the rest of the team as they walked up to the palace, stuck in his own thoughts. He had screwed up again during training. He had missed the target and his stray bullet landed inches from Pidge's head. They all freaked out, as they had a right to, and told Lance off. It might've been a little too much but Lance knew he deserved it.
That was two weeks ago.
The uproar had died down some but he was still hurt. What they said stuck in his mind. He knew he was a useless and terrible paladin. He knew that no matter how hard he tried he would never be good enough. And then the paladins proved what he thought. They confirmed his darkest fear. He shouldn't be here.
Lance's head snapped up at the thought, scaring Hunk who was standing next to him. He looked at Lance strangely but Lance waved his hand like it was nothing. Hunk nodded and left Lance to his vicious thoughts.
Lance shouldn't be here. He was a mistake, ruining Voltron's shot at defeating Zarkon. He was just the placeholder. If he stayed, Voltron would surely fall. He needed to leave. He needed to get out of the way so that they could find the true paladin of the blue lion.
But how?
I could kill myself, Lance thought. That could work. He just needed to take himself out of the picture and then they'd finally be happy. Lance looked around for something he could use. If he was going to do this, he needed a plan.
He could wait until they got back to the castle and shoot himself. But, if he did that someone would have to clean his scattered bits off the walls. No one would want to do that. He could drug himself, with what? He could cut himself, no, he would never have the guts for that.
What could he do?
He looked around the planet. It was really beautiful. Clear pink skies and crystal blue waters. Alien flowers crept up the edge of the cliff that overlooked a beautiful waterfall. That's it! The cliff! It's fast and simple and he'd die in his own element. He just had to fall. It was so simple.
He snuck away from Hunk who was too preoccupied to notice Lance slip away. Lance walked to the edge of the cliff and looked down. So beautiful. This was definitely a great way to die. Lance looked up to the sky and smiled. What a feeling! He could feel the freedom from here. It was so close. All he had to do was jump.
So he opened his arms and leaned forward, getting ready to jump.
"Lance!" Keith screamed. Lance frowned and tried to ignore him. He was so close to the freedom. "Lance please, step away from the cliff."
"Lance what are you doing?" Hunk cried.
"Lance come down," Shiro called desperately. "Let's talk about this!" Lance shook his head and leaned again. He could do this. They'd be much better off without him. All he did was hold them back.
Suddenly he felt arms wrap around his waist and yank him back. He fell into someone's arm and they hugged him tightly. Hunk cried into Lance's shoulder while his arms formed bars around Lance's small frame, stopping him from trying to run.
"Hunk?" Lance asked. He was still high on adrenaline and was having trouble comprehending what was happening. "Hunk what are you doing? Let go."
"N-n-no!" Hunk sobbed. "L-Lance how could you d-do that?"
"What do you mean?"
"Don't play dumb!" Keith snapped, tears flowing down his face. "You were about to jump...oh God...what would you have done if we hadn't stopped you?"
"Jump." Lance said plainly.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Pidge sobbed. "We could have h-h-helped you!" Lance shrugged.
"Please, Lance," Shiro said, his natural dad-voice breaking through. "Just let us help you.
Lance broke. "THEN WHY DID YOU STOP ME?" he sobbed. Shiro shrank back as if he had been slapped. The paladins just stared at Lance. "I WAS TRYING TO HELP YOU GUYS! I WAS DOING YOU A FAVOR! With me out of the way you could find the true blue paladin. You would have been happy. All I do is hold you back. I'm not needed. You have to replace me! All I do is joke and ruin missions. I'm useless. Why did you stop me? You would have been far better off if I was dead!"
It was silent. The only noise was the stifled crying of the paladins and the gentle wind that rustled the trees. Then the screaming started. First it was Pidge screaming about him important Lance was. Then it was Hunk crying and blaming himself for not seeing the pain Lance was in, no matter how many times Lance tried to tell him it wasn't Hunk's fault, he didn't listen. Then it was Keith screaming at Lance to grow up and accept the fact that he's loved and there's nothing he can do about it. Then Shiro raised his hands and the screams turned silent.
Shiro looked at Lance meaningfully. "Lance," he started. "You are so special. You aren't the placeholder for Voltron. You are our friend and the most amazing Blue Paladin ever. We care about you so much. We would fall apart if you left us. Please, let us help you. We can fix this together. You're not useless, your full of so much worth. Please, Lance, please, just let us help you."
Lance refuse to meet Shiro's gaze. He simply nodded slowly. "If that's what you want." he said softly. "I'll get better for you."
Shiro shook his head sadly. "No Lance, you should get better for you. Not for us. Please just let us help you get better for you."
"I.....I'll try." Lance said. For you. For all of you.
