Side by Side...

In Dreams - 10/10/2018

In my dreams I see you standing there.
Weeping, sobbing, a lake of tears beneath your feet,
As more tears cover your innocent face.
From afar, I can faintly recognize your form:
The long black hair, slender frame, the sound of your sobs,
And I can't believe that it is you, still as beautiful as before.

My heart aches hearing your cries and I reach out to you,
Suddenly you turn and I am able to see your face.
It is you, exactly as you were before... before everything happened.
Your eyes always go wide with surprise and a faint inkling of relief
Before wrapping me up in your arms - your embrace
Is sweeter than I can remember, divine even.

Memories come flooding back of a time long since past,
Sorrow and regret fill my lungs and breathing becomes poison.
I could never show you how much you meant to me,
Yet you would always show me that I was your world,
And it is hardly fair that you were taken away before I could show you.

In the end, I never fulfilled your dying wish.
Do you feel regret for trusting me? Does your heart ache
In the inky black abyss of death? Because mine aches for you, with you.
I promised to bring your dream to fruition, to bring you peace, 
But I just couldn't do it. You have every right to hate me,
But here you stand, hugging me like your life depends on it.

It makes me wish that I told you how much you meant to me,
And as I reminisce on what we once were
Everything seems to vanish amidst the sound of human voices.
And so I drown, pondering the inky blackness of death - 
How it is much too cruel, and if I am truly awake. 
Is this life I'm living nothing more than a fleeting illusion?

(If dreams are reality, and waking up is the death of that reality,
Then I would rather dream and endure a thousand 
Sweet deaths by your embrace than awake and suffer the frozen hell
Of the living, where even the skies are dyed an eternal gray).