Bono tried to look for her. He went to her job, but someone told him she sold her company. Her house was empty; she was just gone, from everywhere. He was back in Dublin after 3 days of looking for explanations he never got from her since she banished.
Studio sessions where shit. He felt a lot of pressure and loneliness. They had not too much time, since the tour dates were already programmed as well as the launching date of the album and now the songs he wrote for her weren't the same anymore. Those lines that were supposed to be about love, now were nothing but pain. Edge, Adam and Larry knew about what happened and helped him with the only thing he had left; music.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Bono changed some lyrics, but since time was ticking he just changed a few lines to give them another meaning and not the lovely and romantic one it had before.
"Jesus, Jesus help me, I'm alone in this world And a fucked up world it is too" "So love is hard and love is tough But love is not what you're thinking of" "But love is not what you're thinking of" "'Cause you, my love, I could never believe" "Don't know if I can hold on Don't know if I'm that strong" "You're holding on to every little thing so tightly Till there's nothing left for you anyway" "Then you discover what you thought was freedom is just greed" "Goodbye, and it's emotional goodnight. I'll be up with the sun. Gone, Sun. Gone, Sun" "Is it spinning for you the way it's spinning for me?" "You know she's going to pay it back somehow" "She already knows it hurts She's living like it's the last night on earth" "I'm nearly great but there's something missing" "But you never really belonged to me" "Nobody made you do it, No one put words in your mouth, When love took a train heading south" "And I want my life, And I want to feel my soul, And I want to know love, And I want to feel" "Lookin' in the places where no flowers grow Lookin' for to fill that God shaped hole" "And it looks like the sun but it feels like rain" "And there's heat in the sun to see us through the rain"
He changed at least one line of each song to express his current feelings, rather than the happy ones used before. His voice was not too good, since he started smoking quite a lot and dinking as well, so recording took longer than expected. He tried to fill his loneliness with music and concentrate on it instead of thinking of her, even though it was one of the hardest things to do. Her face, smell, voice, eyes, smile, every single part of her was tattooed in his mind but he hated her for what she's done to him. It was a hate but love situation he didn't know how to handle.
There was a lot of stress in the room. Bono's voice not in his best, the delivery date coming but the lyrics been constantly changing, the eternal arguments about the sound of the whole album, Bono's always discussing with everyone for meaningless things and not being quite friendly or positive.
Weeks passed by and the delivery date of the album to the discography was getting very close. The band was running out of time and couldn't spend the proper amount of time they needed to finish every song. That's when things went bad. Producers, technicians and the band were almost a week without sleeping to finish the album. Bono occasionally got very annoying and a bit violent screaming and getting quite angry with everyone about everything. Adam, Edge or Larry didn't say anything, they understood what was going on inside his mind and tried to calm him down, even though It was pointless. Sun got to learn how to manage his behavior and calm him down, but she wasn't there anymore.
The day before the delivery date, Larry pushed Bono against the wall and looked at him without saying anything for a few seconds until he finally spoke
"I endure this fucking behavior of yours for a long time. We're as stressed as you are and you're definitely not helping with this fucking childish conduct. So get your shit together, just for today and let's use the last day of recording intelligently"
Bono calmed down, since Larry would never react violently, he was the silent one, but also the one that always remind everyone to keep their feet on the ground. After that reaction, that everyone in the studio witnessed, the whole place went silent and everyone worked fast until the delivery time at midnight.
