City of Heavenly Fire - Mortal Instruments Fanfic

26. Awakening from Oblivion

Clary stood back up, and smiled at him. He stared back into her eyes, and felt so confused – so lost. Panic took control over him, and he shook violently, screams erupting from his mouth, which carried the heavy burden and pain of the past few weeks of his life. He had been shut off from the world for so long, lost in a world he didn’t understand whilst battling against the slowly killing effects of silence, and all at once now his emotions came rushing back at him.

He heard his pounding heartbeat, he heard the silent high frequency-like noise buzzing through the air, mumbling breaths; all the small sounds were such a big deal for him, after he’d come from a world where deafness was his friend.

Even though he had already awoken from this nightmare, it took him a few minutes to regain reality. That’s when he realised Clary’s voice, her angelic hum and sweet flow of words right next to his ear. He released unconscious loud breaths, but at the sound of her voice he started to relax his body and came back to the full effects of reality. He then was able to think back to the past few minutes, and realised that Clary had been whispering such easing words in his ear from the moment he woke up, and she had so dearly retrieved him out of the panic. Oh, the things that that girl knew how to do, even when he was unconscious.

His eyes focused then on her brilliant green eyes that were stained with fresh tears, and her gentle red and fiery locks of hair the fell in tangled waves by her shoulder. But more than anything, he saw the happiest smile on her face than he had ever seen. She leaned down and kissed his soft lips, and then lifted her head back up and returned to a gentle stare.

But even though the effects of waking up had almost been fully gone by now, Jace knew that there was something else going on. He felt a hollow pit of emptiness in his heart, it was so piercing – it was something unlike he hadn’t ever felt before. He knew that it wasn’t from the heavenly fire. It was too strong for that. He felt broken.

Jace squeezed his eyes shut. His brain could barely function as he put in all the energy to try and figure out what it was. He felt his hand being squeezed by Clary, and at that motion he reopened his eyes.

“Jace… how are you feeling?” Clary’s smile had now toned down into just a slight twist at the side of her mouth, but the look in her eyes told him that she was still the happiest girl alive. It was then when he noticed his surroundings, and realised that he laid in the infirmary.

Jem and Tessa had left the room to get the others, so the door was open, and the only being in the empty room was Clary. He then proceeded to respond to Clary.

“I don’t feel right. There is a void in my heart Clary, and all I feel is emptiness.”

Clary eyebrows creased as she looked at him, and then lightly replied back.

“It’s okay Jace. You only just woke up. You’ll feel better, trust me. Don’t worry. I’m here for you.” She smiled a rather sad smile, and then squeezed his already held hand again.

He looked down, narrowing his eyes and shaking his head.

“No… I know it’s not that not it. I can feel something else Clary. It’s so strong. It’s eating me alive.” He took in a heavy breath. In, and out.

“You’re okay. Trust me. You’re okay. If there’s a hole in your heart, I’ll fill it. You have left us for so long Jace… you just don’t remember. But we’ll help you. We all will.”

He nodded in response and kept his eyes steady on Clary’s beautiful green orbs for a few quick moments. He relished at her sight, and wondered for a moment if perhaps he’d walked off the bridge of reality. He dismissed his crazy thoughts, but still knew in him that her beauty and perfection was unimaginable.

He nodded at her, but still knew it was something else – the burning desolation still lived in his heart. He continued to sit up from his previous position, and the feeling of unused muscles being vacant for so long, made his bones feel stiff.

He looked at himself, looked at his still glowing skin. And then at Clary’s hand in which held his.

“Clary… your hands burnt.”

Clary lifted her hand as confusion passed her face. Her palms and fingers were hardened in red flakes, whilst the crimson red blood made its way out through the centre.

“I didn’t even realise,” she paused for a moment and sighed. “It’s okay, it’s not that bad.”

“It is Clary, I don’t want to be hurting you like that.” He felt a heap of intense guilt. Anyone hurting her made his blood boil, and knowing that he himself did it was indescribable. He looked around for a stele, and that’s when he recognised his seraph blade, and a few other weapons having a bright angelic glow, similar to his lying all over the ground.

“What happened..?”

She looked where he had, and the thought of the angel came flooding back to her. She remembered their words. ‘Go back, before it’s too late’. Too late for what?

“It isn’t important now. Well it is, very important, but it’s something that I have to tell everyone, not just you. Everyone will be here soon,” She answered.

Jace nodded, and then looked down again. He eyed his parabatai rune. It was bright white, and completely lifeless.

 “Clary… what happened to Alec?” Jace voice shook uncontrollably. He was thrown into another world of panic. He had only just been pulled out of oblivion, and now he had felt more panic then anyone would feel in their life. Was that it? Was this the hole in his heart, the burning pain of emptiness that he didn’t understand? Yet he refused to believe it. Alec was strong, he thought. He couldn’t have… he knew this couldn’t be true. And at the same time, his realisation of this emptiness, it was all connected. It all made sense.

He looked at Clary’s face, begging, waiting for an answer. But he saw dark, sorrowful pits in her eyes: her face was panged with sadness and guilt.

“I’m so sorry…”

_____________________________________________________________________________

Hellooo my beautiful friends!!! I know in my previous chapter I said that I would write, but I didn’t really feel up to it. I had a maasssiivvvee urge to write today, so here you go, 1100 words long, probably my longest. I think my writing is getting better? Maybe it is or isn’t but it feels like it. Thank you to all commenters, because even though I don’t feel like writing very often, your comments make me so happy, and does increase my urge to update. You guys are amazing! I think this is my best chapter so far (highlights on the I THINK), but that’s up for you to decide. If you bothered to read this long author’s note, your preddy amazing lol. Luv u all soooooooo much!!!

Chloe

Xoxoxoxox