Crown

Mijegon Jorrāelagon-Loveless

Sin had wandered up to the room he'd be staying in and slumped down in the chair. He sat there for a few minutes going through the events that took place shortly before. He replayed it over and over again in his head. It had gotten to the point where the embarrassment and irritation he felt, which was mostly towards himself, made his heart burn in helplessness. Sure he could be childish and yes he was a hot head. He could admit that, but it was only when it came to Nikiro that he ever took it to the extreme, that he ever took his impulsiveness to another level It annoyed him more than anything else that he would get like that over a guy of all things. Then a thought hit him. He wasn't sure how much better it would make him feel but he figured even the slightest thing would help right now. He shuffled over to his belongings and pulled out the music box that Nikiro had given him.

He sat down at the small desk in the room and opened it up. The soft sound of music and Nikiro's soothing humming drifted into the room. Sin put his head down next to the little box and closed his eyes as he listened. The quiet stillness of the room in which the music resounded in, lulled him into a trance.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Nikiro and Kashino had run into Yukimi and Ri-is on their way to locate their room. Small streams of blood trickled down the side of Kashino's face and Yukimi was very eager to treat his wounds. Nikiro let Yukimi whisk Kashino away and left on his own to find Sin. By the time he wandered into the hallway leading to Sin's quarters, the sun had gone down quite a bit. He walked down the hall in search of Sin only to hear the sound of the music box in the distance. He slowed his pace and quietly approached the room from which the sound was coming from. He peered around the corner of the thin sliding doors and spotted Sin at the desk. He noticed the way Sin's shoulders shook ever so slightly and how it was accompanied by quiet sniffles.

"Is he...crying?"

Whatever frustrations he may have had vanished like the wind when he saw Sin's pitiful sight. He watched as Sin gently caressed the music box with great care and knew that the last thing Sin wanted to do right now was talk to him. So he decided to do what he came prepared to do. He leaned a bit closer behind the screen separating them. Something was triggered in his gaze and a flood of thoughts entered his mind. Not his own, but Sin's.

"This is stupid."

"I'm stupid."

"How could I have let myself fall in love with Nikiro..."

Nikiro jolted back, bumping into the screen and alerting Sin. Sin spun around and was met with a very pale and very wide-eyed Nikiro. Suddenly everything made sense to him. Sin's awkwardness around him and Kashino, Sin's irritability whenever he was questioned, everything.

"N-Nikiro?" Sin asked, trying desperately to quell the shakiness in his voice.

Despite his best efforts, It was painfully obvious from the redness of his eyes that he had been crying. Nikiro felt a mix of things boil and fester in his chest. Guilt, sadness, shock, just to name a few.

Nikiro stepped out from behind the screen and approached Sin. "...yeah...hi..."

Sin cleared his throat and stood up. "Look if you're here to yell at me for the fight I—"

"I'm not...I'm not angry about that anymore..." His voice trailed off.

"...you're not?" Sin asked meekly.

"No...I um...I came to talk to you about...well..uh..." He didn't know where to start, how to start, much less what to say afterwards.

"...I'm sorry..." Sin said, breaking Nikiro's chain of stutters.

"...for what?" Nikiro asked in confusion.

"For everything. For avoiding you, for getting angry, for fighting with your boyfriend and...for the feelings I shouldn't have."

Nikiro felt that horrible sensation rising in his chest again. What was it, panic? guilt? Maybe a mix of both. Either way, it made his chest tighten and his heart sink.

"What feelings..." He whispered. He wanted to hear it straight from Sin's lips. He wanted an explanation, then again, how do you casually explain that you've fallen in love with your best friend even though they're in a relationship.

Sin looked down. He took a deep breath and with clenched fists, opened his mouth to speak. He knew he couldn't hide it forever. He needed to say it and they needed to talk. "...for you...my feelings for you. Nikiro...I'm in love with you." No going back now. It was all out in the open. Ripped off like a bandaid and now the open wound was exposed for all to see.

Nikiro remained silent for quite some time. "...I'm sorry."

Sin raised his hands in front of him and motioned for him to stop. "I know. I know you don't feel the same way. It's okay. I already excepted that response and I completely understand. I just—"

"No Sin, it's not that I—"

"—Need some time to get myself together. I didn't mean to fall for you and fight with your boyfriend. You just make me so happy. I feel like I'm on cloud nine when I'm with you, like I could do anything and everything would be okay because you'd be right there with me! I'm sorry but—"

"Sin listen to me! I—"

"—It just happened and there was nothing I could do about it but I tried! I really tried! I just couldn't—"

Nikiro grabbed Sin to get his attention. He held him firmly by his shoulders.

"SIN!"

Sin shut up. He just stared at Nikiro, a mix of shock and curiosity spread across his face.

"Listen to me. I'm not angry or repulsed or whatever it is you think I'm upset about. It's okay! Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I lead you on and—"

"You didn't," Sin interjected.

A brief moment of relief filled Nikiro in hearing Sin confirm that he wasn't at fault for anything. "Still...don't beat yourself up either...I...I may have added to how you felt because...look I'm not going to sugarcoat this. I'd be lying to myself and to you if I didn't admit that you did make my heart skip a beat a few times. It's fun being with you. I feel at ease, you make me laugh and I most certainly find you attractive."

Sin gently tried to remove himself from Nikiro's grasp, fearing that if he continued to listen Nikiro speak, he might loose his mind and break down right then and there.

"I'm positive that if I had met you first, I may have fallen in love with you and not Kashino...but it is what it is. As much as I treasure you and our friendship...Kashino has my heart...and my loyalty."

There it was. Sin hung his head. The dreaded words he wanted so desperately not to hear, rang in his head like a thousand metal gongs all being rung at once. The both of them were silent, unmoving. Until finally Nikiro let his hands fall to his side and and he too hung his head. Not that it did him any good because Sin was shorter and all it did was give him a closer view at his heartbroken form. Then Sin moved. It wasn't a quick or abrupt movement, but it surprised him nonetheless. And that's because Sin had looked up at him, eyes glassy and cheeks flushed.

Against his better judgment, Nikiro instinctively cupped Sin's cheeks in his hands. His skin was cold to the touch, but there was something in his eyes that burned like wildfire. Sin had taken a couple steps forward and gently placed his hands on Nikiro's chest. As if running on autopilot, both of them leaned in and without saying a word, closed the distance between them in a kiss.