The Red

Chapter 38

On Friday, Kian still doesn't come to school. Did I think he would? Maybe a little. Whoever said there's always hope was right, but it's not good to hope. Why lift your expectations only for them to stay unfulfilled? Then you're left with a broken heart.

I sit at Kian's lunch table alone, eyes boring into my back just like every other day this week. Suddenly Hayden is sitting across from me.

"What do you want?" I ask.

"Natalie, don't you see you're turning into Kian?"

I think for a second. It's true. One of the times I tried to sit across from Kian, he asked me what I wanted.

"I'm sorry," I say.

"Kian's not here," Hayden says. "And those gangsters were killed last week. Coincidence? Again?"

I didn't think of that. Kian's not here, and The Red commited murder last week. Hayden told me that Kian always misses school around those times. But this time, he seemed to have left because of what I told him, and he seemed so hurt and surprised.

"It's not like that," I say.

"Then what's it like?"

"It's like me telling him something and scaring him off."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Look, if he can handle anything you tell him, he doesn't deserve you."

"I don't blame him at all, Hayden."

"Don't you see? This is just proving what I told you."

"I know it looks that way-"

"Maybe it is that way, Natalie."

"Maybe it's not."

"What's it going to take for you to believe me?"

"Proof. Maybe footage of him in action would suffice. But I don't think he's that kind of person."

"Think what you want," he says. "But please know that I'm here if you need anything."

I just nod and he gets up and leaves. Immediately I feel lonely again.

✯ ✯ ✯

Robin approaches me after school.

"Hello," she says.

"Oh, hey."

"I've noticed you've been a little sad since Kian stopped coming to school. I was wondering if you want to hang out?"

Well, I can't because the world's most dangerous murderers are kind of stalking me.

"Um, where were you planning on going?"

"I don't know. Do you have any preferences?"

"Well, there's this park by my house, that should be safe enough."

"Safe enough?"

I mentally slap myself. "Sorry. I mean good enough."

"Okay.... Do you want to just walk there now?"

"Sure. Thanks."

We walk for a bit before Robin asks, "What's your favorite color?"

"Blue."

"Oh, I like blue. You should wear a blue dress to the dance."

"Well...." I decide against telling her I'm not going. She might be disappointed. "You're right."

"You look really cute in blue."

"Thank you. You should wear pink."

"Already done!"

"Really?"

"There's one week till the dance!" she says. "Maybe we should turn around and take you to the store instead!"

"Well, let's go to my house first. I'll have Shauna drive us."

She doesn't ask who Shauna is. She's very good at letting me keep things to myself.

When we arrive at the house, I say, "Um, you'll need to wait here for a sec." It's polite to invite people in, but I don't think Mark would approve.

"Shauna!" I call. "I need to go dress shopping!"

"Really?!" she comes out of the hallway. "You're going to the dance?"

"Yes. My friend is outside; she'd like to go with. Do you think you could drive us?"

"Of course!"

"Hold up!" Rob's voice calls from the kitchen. "You're going to a dance? You're supposed to try to blend in, Natalie."

"But Rob," Shauna says, "she'll look even weirder if she doesn't go!"

Rob looks at me and then Shauna, and then shrugs.

"Well," Shauna says, "let's go!"

Shauna, Robin, and I all head to the store. While we're there, I try on about a million dresses. I finally decide on a light blue one. It's down to me knees with little sleeves on the shoulders. It's simple enough, yet still formal. While I look at my reflection in the dressing room mirror, Kian's words come into my head.

From the moment I first saw you, I was in awe.

Well, the first time he saw me, I was wet. Does that mean I'm pretty when I'm wet, too?

I smile. More memories of Kian come to mind. Like the meadow.

This is where I come when I need to get away from everything.

My smile disappears as an idea come to mind. Is it possible?

"Natalie!" Shauna calls. "You done yet?"

Only one way to find out.