Chapter 9

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"Shoot," I hear Cathy mutter as I pass the by the Meeting Room.

"Natalie," she sees me, and beckons me inside. "Can you go get me Casey Carson's record, please? There's a couple coming in a few minutes, so be quick!"

I nod and head down the hall to her office.

Only little kids get adopted, I think. No one likes fourteen-year-olds.

The office is painted mint green, and a darkly stained desk sits in the corner. In the adjacent corner are two tall metal file cabinets, filled with records of past and present orphans.

I pull open a drawer to one of the cabinets. I scan the names for "Carson" and on the way I see "Cace". Out of pure curiosity, I pull out the stack of papers. Birth certificate, social security, blah blah blah, and...a death record of my parents.

"Hmm...," I turn around to make sure no one is around to see me before I read what it says.

Emma Cace:
-race: Asian
-eyes: brown
-hair: brown
-parents: Lela and Cameron Hale

Matthias Cace:
-race: white
-eyes: brown
-hair: blond
-parents: June and Dallas Cace

I skim down the paper a little.

Reason for Death: Murder
•Victim of "The Red"
•Repeatedly stabbed

A massive chill momentarily paralyzes me. Then my hands shake so bad that I drop the stack of papers to the floor.

Lies. That's what my life has become.

Is this why they never let me see the bodies? They said.... Well now it doesn't matter what they said.

Okay, I think. Okay.... So my parents were murdered.... Okay...

"Natalie?" Cathy calls from the other room.

I hurry and scoop up the papers and hastily shove them back into the file cabinet before snatching Casey's papers and rushing to give them to Cathy.

"Are you okay?" she asks, slowly taking the papers. "You're white as a ghost."

"Yeah," I gulp, "Just a little lightheaded, that's all."

I leave the room, and all I can think is okay, okay, okay....

---------------------------------------------

My eyes shoot open.

No! Stop! I try to talk to my subconscious, but of course it doesn't care.

I inhale deeply, trying desperately to placate myself, to get my heart to slow a little.

They told me there was someone - a man - who wouldn't let anyone take the bodies. So I never knew.

The last time I saw them was at the front door, hugging them goodbye.

"See you when we get back," they'd promised. Then they drove away in the car that would never return.

For a whole year I blamed that car. Blamed it for not being strong enough to protect my parents upon impact.

Now I blame The Red.

They killed Nancy Young; they killed my parents. Nancy could've had a family, like my parents had me. She most likely had plans for the future. I did. The Red ruined that. Just like The Red ruined me.

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