Modest Absolution - Book 5 (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 36 - The hunger satisfied

‘Lovers on the Sun’ – David Guetta

(Don’t ask why this was the song for this chapter. I suppose, it made me think of Dakota re-emerging like a Phoenix from the ashes. Though it’s debatable whether her regeneration is for the better.)

The hunger satisfied

Zayn took the phone out of Dakota’s hand, she said nothing and he stared at her. Waiting for her to breakdown again, for her to streak and ruin the freshly applied mascara. She breathed a heavy sigh and fluffed her soft chocolate curls out of her eyes. Zayn put the phone back in his pocket and swallowed, silent Dakota was scarier than angry or hysterical Dakota. Zayn watched her; craning his neck to take in her face she looked tired and withdrawn. Yet, somehow she still looked breathtaking. He held out a hand to brush her hair over her shoulder, she didn’t flinch or even look at him.

“You okay?” He asked, Zayn expected her to be honest as she was at least away from the prying eyes of the boys and Jennifer.

She stared blankly ahead.

“Dakota?” He whispered breaking the silence.

“Zayn,” she replied sarcastically. Dakota met his eyes with a sigh and smiled, “what?” She asked when she noted him staring at her.

He shrugged as he sat down on the bed, a pile of scrunched up tissues surrounding them like pillows. They had both mourned together; somehow he understood why Niall fell for a girl like her. A broken, innocent girl who had a terrible past and a heavy conscience.

As she cried, as he wiped the tears from her eyes he began to see the strong exterior she wore break down. He could see her chasing the fear away with every breathless denial and shake of her head. She wore her guilt like a heavy cloak, constantly weighing her down and punishing him.

Dakota had whispered to him when she thought he was asleep on her lap, maybe she felt better telling someone even if he was asleep. Zayn was awake, listening to her confession about how she did love Niall.

‘Sometimes, my shadow is the only friend that I have.’ She sobbed.

Zayn warmed to Dakota as she stroked his hair and promised him it would all be okay, he believed her for a while. But did she believe herself?

He blinked as he stared across at the beautiful brunette with the blackened soul and eyelashes as false as her broken smile. “You’re not upset?”

“Would I tell you if I was?” She asked with a casual shrug.

“Dakota?”

“Zayn,” She bit her bottom lip. “I’m fine, suppose it’s flattering the media and public think I was so evil. ‘Satan’s Mistress’ as they called me.” Dakota forced a laugh but he noted the tremble in her voice.

“You know–“

“Let’s not talk about it,” she snapped and stood up. “Thanks for letting me,” she waved a hand at the water, discarded tissues and bed. “You know, vent.”

“Don’t close off again,” Zayn begged. He was surprised at his own desperation to keep her from retreating into herself. After all, she had only just come back to life. With Niall.

Zayn swore he would help Niall see reason; it was as surprising to him that he began to love Dakota as a sister, a friend. Niall was an idiot for letting her go, or was it Louis’ fault? Zayn, through some strange dream realised just how precious life was.

When he got off this God forsaken jet he would reconnect with Bradley and finally tell her just how much he loved her. The way her eyes lit up when she smiled, her laugh that was like a sweet songbird chirping in his ear. The way she made his heart race, caused him to have sleepless nights when all he did was think of her. The way he loved her, just the way she was.